The KD King

Well, Old Yeller, it's time. shotgun cocking noise

2005-12-12T20:20:00.000-08:00

yes, that's right. I'm not going to be blogging anymore. I just don't feel like it does anything for me. And honestly, I don't think people care enough about my life to warrant keeping this thing active. I'll leave it up for a few more days, just to be sure I'm not just feeling emo and anti-social, and then I'm taking it down. I mean, really. If you want to know how I am, call me up on the telephone, you know, that thing that magically allows you to hear someone's voice from kilometers away? Or IM me or something, and we'll chat. If you don't care enough to do that, then you're obviously not on a need-to-know basis here. So, we've had some good times, and some shitty times...actually, most of my blog is just complaints...so...I don't see its use other than making me look emo. Oh, and don't try to talk me out of it. I mean, who needs a fucking weblog? It's just another pathetic excuse to deny ourselves real human contact. I'd rather be hanging out with you guys somewhere over a cup of tea than sitting at my keyboard complaining about how girls don't like me and I hate my life, boo. fuckin'. hoo. So...that's about it, really. I'll see you guys out there in the real world. Losers.

We're not gonna pay Rent

2005-12-06T17:33:00.000-08:00

Okay, Rent is the only movie I've seen more than twice in theatres. That makes it...a really good movie. Brianna and I have decided that we're going to move to Vancouver after my second year, if she decides to stay for another year, and be Bohemians living in a flat scraping out a living as starving artists. Actually, I might transfer to UBC or something to continue my theatre. If not, I'll look for work. But it would be pretty awesome. Monday was the last day of the Fall semester classes. Exams are next week. Snowboarding comes soon, hopefully. And as always, the rat race continues. Nothing's gotten any better since the beginning of the year, really. I mean, for one thing, she used to talk to me. I should have figured I'd never have a chance. And I've realized what I thought I knew all along, which is that people are manipulative and two-faced. I don't know who I can really call a friend, because they could smile to my face, and turn around and talk about me behind my back. It sounds high school, but it happens everywhere, no matter how old you are. It's not like I'm a bad person. I guess maybe I am, if I deserve this treatment. Maybe I'm just paranoid. But it would be nice to know that people are honest. I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but a sizeable enough portion that I should be worried about it. I don't know. Sometimes I think maybe I am crazy for thinking the things I think. I guess that's what I get for thinking too much. I'm off. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

I am of AGE

2005-11-21T21:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm nineteen now. On Friday, I got my ear pierced. I started out at 6ish at the Foundry, Jordan showed up and we had a Guinness together, then Ashley came, who didn't drink that night, and Angie came for awhile, and Ms. Luvisotto's parents, who were randomly there, bought me another Guinness. Eventually, Chris, then Alex and his girly Karen, and in turn, Biff, Becky and Carolyn came, and got me a Muffdiver and a shot of sourjack, I'm not sure what's in that...
So then at about 9 we headed over to the Queen's to see Jon play with Immoral Minority, but when we got there, turned out they weren't playing till around ten, so we just hung about for awhile, Pam showed up and we went in and the shots began to pour. 2 shots of tequila, for one of which I licked the salt off Pam's neck and took the lime out of Carolyn's mouth. That rocked. I then proceeded to the dance floor for a little dancing with Pam and Carolyn. Then came two double shots of fireball and another double of 151. Then I had some random beer from the pitcher. That ended my drinking for the night, but by that time, I was rollicking drunk. Ashley, Chris and I drove back to my place. I was spouting philosophy on the drive home. Back home, Michelle and her friend and Kevin and Brad and their friends showed up and we hung out for awhile. Eventually everyone went home, I spent some quality drunk time with Ashley, which she was very tolerant of. I was being rather difficult, you see. I'll speak no more on that. When that was all done, I folded out the hide-a-bed for her and went upstairs to my bed.
In the morning, we had breakfast then Ashley had to go the theatre for something or other. So I chilled and was hung-over all day til Kaitlyn's party, which I showed up to 2 hours early. So I hung out with the other random people who I didn't know, except Ashley was there, and obviously Kaitlyn. I decided I'd had enough drinking that weekend, so I stayed sober. Amber and her friend from Aldergrove showed up, and drank alot. Ashley, in the meantime, was getting wasted too. Ace and Alleah came, as well as Brad, Jordan, Jordan Gregoire, James, Pam, and Sara Robb. I met this fellow named Keith, who reminded me of me a couple years ago. He was pretty cool. I eventually went home, cause I was tired. Sunday I went to a movie with Brianna, it was pretty cool. We saw Legend of Zorro, it was what could be expected from an action flick. We had choir tonight. We need more people to actually come to choir. Nothing more to report, Cap'n. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Fuck you. All of you.

2005-11-10T22:17:00.000-08:00

Becoming an increasingly bitter person.

2005-10-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

Seriously, what is my problem? Or everyone else's? I just want to be noticed by certain members of the opposite sex. Please, show a little interest, for pity's sake, even. Fine, ignore me. I can play that game too, just watch me. I don't care what reason you have for not being interested in me. I doubt you even have one. Because you've completely overlooked me. Does it make me the more foolish, for thinking you would care, or you, for being the one that does not care? It does not matter. I am through with this. You probably wouldn't even know this is about you. This is the Increasingly Bitter Dark Horse, signing off.

Warrior Within

2005-10-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately of the Warrior path. Since taking up the study and practice of Runes, and my recent interest in all things Celtic, I've found that I have a deep respect for ancient warrior cultures such as the Celts and Norse. Each culture, it seems, has its warrior class, but some cultures revolve around the making of war or battle, and it has evolved into an art form and a philosophy. Today, these forms of battle are used as recreation and sport and in promoting well-being. I know few people who didn't at some time or currently practice some kind of martial art. But what does it mean to be a true Warrior? In the days when wars were more common, especially before the days of firearms, knights, samurai, vikings, and other warrior classes were looked upon with great reverence for their mastery of the 'art of war'. Today, there are no battles to be fought steel against steel, except perhaps the occasional re-enactment, and of course, movies and television. Nothing to the death, really. But does that mean we must discard the values these brave people lived every day of their lives? The discipline, dedication, loyalty and honour that penetrated their very souls could hold valuable lessons for us today. There are many people in the world who would do well to have such morals today. These men fought and died because they believed in something, not because they were told to fight for their country. Perhaps what they believed in was their country, but they fought with all their hearts because they felt their cause was worth dying for. I think if we went through our lives with a cause that we would fight and die for, we would be better off. Now, we may not necessarily fight another person, perhaps the fight is an inner battle, the true Jihad, for example, the holy war against our own darkness and infidelity instead of an outer enemy. I want to think of myself as a Warrior for truth, I want to be a revolutionary, a man who fought for what he believed in, and perhaps someday I'll have the honour of dying for it. This is the Warrior Dark Horse, signing off.
P.S. There was quite a bit of controversy over my last post. Try not to judge me before you start calling me arrogant or egotistical or insensitive, please. You've got to admit, there are some dumb broads out there, and whether you like it or realize it or not, some of you out there, can, in fact, be outsmarted by a guy. Get over it. And I know, there are numerous females out there who can rock my socks right off, so don't get your knickers in a knot, okay?

Yeah.

2005-09-27T23:54:00.000-07:00

I've figured out what it is that makes it so hard for me to find chicks: I outsmart most of them. It sounds rather egotistical, but my goodness, girls just aren't impressed by intelligence. They want a guy they can outsmart, and most of them just can't do that with me. Maybe I'm just too intelligent for my own good. There aren't many girls out there who I feel are on the level with me intellectually. So many times I've thought to myself, 'man, she doesn't even understand half the shite I'm telling her. I might as well be a book and she illiterate'. It's kind of sad sometimes even. I'd like to meet a cute girl who I can hold an intelligent conversation with, that would be perfect. Some guys want a dumb broad who won't be able to tell how dumb they are, but I want an intelligent girl who can know me for what I am, and be my equal. That's what I want: an equal. Blah. Girls are stupid. But what does it matter? Sex, what's that? I do not know this 'sex' you speak of. Argh! I'm going to go chew some ice or something. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Nothing else to do.

2005-09-18T15:47:00.000-07:00

I could be writing my seminar notes on the book of Exodus, but really, all you have to do is watch Prince of Egypt and you know the story. The bible is a really long and boring read. 'And lo, The Lord God Almighty, Jehovah, His Supreme Holy Godness, in all His Mighty Bigness, Ooo, You are so Big. We're all really impressed down here, I can tell you, etc, etc, said to Moses: "Sup?" and all manner of life was humbled before His bigness. And he told Moses to get the Hebrews out of Egypt, because enslaving the Israelites is God's job, not Rameseses...es...' Anyway. Sundays are so boring when you've got nothing to do. Saturdays too. Or any other day, but especially so when you're waiting for a phone call...*cough cough* That's okay, though. There was a valid excuse. Yesterday I went to Kelly's house and picked up a book of Lee Howard and Greg Gamble one-act comedies, including The Last Touchy-Feely Drama on the American Stage, It's Tough to be Somebody, and Deliver Us Not!, the one Laura and Lisa did at Dover in the spring. It's really nice having my computer next to my window. I like being able to look out on the yard, instead of being cut off from a nice view of nature while using technology. Anyway, so Kelly and I hung out for a bit, watched figure skating and ate nachos til her date for her high school reunion showed up, and I went home. Then I stayed home the rest of the night and was bored. Then I was bored today as well, until Amber finally called and explained the misfortunes of not having quarters. That's my boring bored story. In other news, Atomic Laser Budgees took over UN Headquarters and are paving the way to a better, more peaceful future. This is the Atomic Dark Horse, signing off.

COLLEGE! and a haircut

2005-09-07T23:48:00.000-07:00

You guys, I'm crazy short-haired now! I don't have any pictures, nor any photographic devices, but 0nce I get a picture of it, I'll surely figure out how to post it. And I've started college! It rocks! For Acting class, we have to do a 'Movement Piece', we have to do some kind of movement to music. Very interesting. I want to do a dance, except for one little insignificant detail...I can't dance. Ah well. I'll figure something out. Also, I have to find a costume for this mixer tomorrow night. We have to be superheroes. AHH! I don't have any superhero costumes! I'll just make something up. Well, I'm going to bed. I have to be out of the house by 8:00, something about debugging the house...Night all, this is the Freshman Dark Horse, signing off

Almost over...

2005-08-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

I can't beleive it. Honk! Jr. and South Pacific are nearing the end of their runs. Only three shows of SP and one left for Honk...I'm so sad that it's going to be over. But I'm glad it happened. My first, well, role, never mind lead, my first year in B2B. Met alot of great people, got to know a few people better, it was alot of fun. I'm kind of disappointed I didn't get to have any romantic encounters this summer. But hey, it's college time! Just a bit over a week left, perhaps I'll meet some interesting theatre chicks. Perhaps they'll be interested in me, as unlikely as that may seem. My room is no longer that dreadful pale blue it was...well, this morning. The first coat is down, and it looks great! The colour is 'Ripe Currant'. I never knew they made colours in the name of mature fruit. The floor borders will be white, it'll look great. I haven't decided on a bedspread yet. And no more astronauts...haha, I'm pretty happy about that. My room hasn't changed since I moved into it...like, 10 years ago. I'm loving it. I'm looking forward to getting my Bard Co-op check. I have no idea how much it'll be, but it's going towards putting in a speaker system in my car, and a real CD player, and some other changes. Not on my car, though. I don't want to leave the Bard folks.
It's hard to imagine not seeing Hilary, or Kelly, Eileen, Maggie, Aron, Beth, Erik, Ryan, Jesse, the little girls Vanessa, Tess, Esme, Taylor, and Rhyan and Narrisa from SP, Timiny Cricket, the Nurses Amber, Andrea, Dawn, and Sophie, Mo, Greg, Chris, Aleisha, Lindsay, who is leaving for Toronto!...Laura, going to Victoria, Dean, Bruce, Lew, Steve, Amy, Sarah, Gary, Bill, Jen and Janet, Jessica, Shawna...sorry to list everyone, but I wouldn't want anybody to feel left out. At least I didn't name everyone I didn't get to know very well. Of course, I'll be seeing lots of Biff, Jordan and Trish, going to school with them and all. I don't want to say goodbye to them all. I wish I could just do it forever. Despite the makeup...if you haven't seen SP yet, then suffice it to say I'm smeared with browny orange makeup that doesn't come off even after the second wash. In fact, I've still got some between my fingers. The most recent SP show was Friday!! Blahhh. Apparently I have to look Malaysian. Cause you know, I totally have that whole asian look going for me. Ah well. It's worth it, it's alot of fun. I have to thank everyone for putting up with any whining I may have done, or may yet do backstage or hanging out with you all. When all is said and done, I've had the time of my life here. It's been a most memorable summer, and I'm sure the cast parties will be no exception. Also, thanks to Hilary for giving me this chance to shine. I hope I didn't let you down. Goodnight everyone. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Ugly.

2005-07-31T23:09:00.000-07:00

The world is such an ugly place. People are ugly. Society is ugly. I don't know how people live with themselves sometimes. What goes through some people's heads, that they think what they're doing is right? I mean, okay, from perspective, my perspective, what someone else does might be wrong, but is there no objectivity in which it is fundamentally wrong? Drugs, rape, murder, war, predation, all these human things that are wrong, how can people think they are right? Also, small things like lying, cheating, stealing, is guilt just a side effect to be ignored of these things? Remorse is there for a reason. To make us regret our poor decisions and make us better people. But I suppose some people have forgotten remorse, forgotten what it is to be a human being. Where are all the human beings? When I look at this world, I see greedy egomaniacs, only concerned with themselves. Nobody cares anymore. Why don't you care, homo sapien? We're dying. I can't do it on my own. I need help. I need people to care. Just, think about someone other than yourself for once. Do it for me. For you. For US. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Right, so since nobody reads my blog anymore, I think I'll post again.

2005-07-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

So what's happened since I last posted? Last time was three days to the Honk opening I think, which would have been the 7th I suppose, well, opening was good, except that I DIDN'T HAVE A VOICE! ARGH. Apparently, I have sinusitis. Which is, as I'm sure you can guess, the shittiest thing for a singer to have right before the opening of a season. I can hardly sing, I cough all the time, which is not a nice thing to have onstage. Hopefully I can get better and be able to give it my all by the end of the season. Hopefully. I've been getting great reviews nonetheless, so just wait til they see me in my prime! But God, do I feel awful now. Anyway, opening was good, other than the illness. Other than that, not alot has happened. Oh, I went to see Mr and Mrs Smith with Beth on...Tuesday, says my ticket stub. It was fun. Pointless, plotless movie, but fun anyway. It had explosions and Angelina Jolie in her underwear. What more do you want? I'm such a male. Oh well, don't fault me for it, I was born this way! Afterwards, we went to Kelsey's (the restaurant) because, well, she came from French Creek, I might as well make it worth her while to stay and chat. We talked for an hour and a half at least, until we realized they'd closed 45 minutes ago, so we apologized to the waitress for making her wait for us, payed for our drinks and left. It was a good night, I like being able to have meaningful one on one conversations with people I don't know very well, I like getting to know someone personally, it makes me feel more human. I mean, if we went through life just being aquaintances with everyone, what kind of meaning would people have to us? Welp, other than that, I haven't got much else to say. The make-up for SP I have to put on is driving me absolutely insane. I'm in like, two scenes that I need it for. So, all the other 4 scenes I'm in as a sailor I look as out of place as Michael Jackson in a family photo. Haha, look at me, I made a pop-culture joke, aren't I witty?! Blech.
Man, whatever happened to the underground movement? It's been totally commercialized. Who of you really thinks Che wanted a line of clothing and accessories in his name? I mean, really. People, if you really believe in the socialist ideal that Che died for, why would you go out and buy a t-shirt with his face on it from a big-name corporation? THINK ABOUT IT, YOU FOOLS! DON'T BUY SHIT ADVERTISING COMMUNISM, WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? Course, you always see these little skater kids wearing this crap. If you're going to wear something promoting communism, make it your-fucking-self! What is this world coming to, anyway? They'll do anything to get you to spend your money on useless shit that's gonna end up killing you so your family has to spend more money to put you in the ground. What's that all about? You're gonna pay money to get rid of your dead body? Why not just bury yourself, nature is foolproof. You'll get eaten by worms, no worries. ANYWAY. What I'm trying to say is, if I ever get famous, I don't want to be commercialized and corporatized. If I'm a musician, I want to be indie. Or have my own label that answers to no one. I'll sell my own stuff, that way I'll be in control of my own destiny, at least materially. I do not want to be the slave to this corporate state. I want freedom, and that's what you should want. Not the false freedom, the liars' freedom they talk about whenever they try to weasel their way into the war on terror, real freedom, the freedom to say what you mean, and mean what you say, the freedom to say that I am a human being, and I will not stand for it any longer! We all need to do this, every one of us, or we will fall, humanity will fall and we will all become a bunch of zombies. We need to take back our fate, our destiny, because we have let them take it away from us. This corporate world order is enslaving our minds, and we need to fight back, break the bonds that hold us back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to write a bunch of this on my car. Peace out, This is the So Indie Dark Horse, signing off

Pointlessy long title which really has nothing to do with the post at all but is put in anyways because I feel like it. Long post, though, so kinda.

2005-07-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

3 DAYS TILL HONK! JR OPENS WOOHOO! Oh my goodness, I'm so excited! And very nervous, and very worried, because I have this damned cough and my sore throat and phlegm will not let me sing my high notes without cracking my voice! With South Pacific I can survive because I'm chorus, and my solos are low enough that I can sing them without worrying too much. But my solo goes pretty high in Honk, and I will die if I crack in the middle of my song!!! Seriously, I will just curl up and die if I mess up on Saturday and Sunday...Saturday is the dress rehearsal with an invited audience, if I crack...oh god, I don't want to think about it! I really hope this goes away soon, I've had it for over a week. Trish and Laura have it too, apparently it's 'mild athsma', I didn't know lung conditions came in degrees, but okay. Dammit, it's driving me mad. Anyway. My parents went away for five days, Mom left on Friday and Dad left the week before, and they returned yesterday, Wednesday. On Saturday I had a party at my place, turns out Biff and Sophie's birthdays were that day, and Trish's was on Monday, so it was kind of a joint birthday party for all of them. Except Biff didn't show up, haha. And since the parents weren't home, a few of us had a little to drink. Biff never showed up, but we got a hold of him, and Aron and Jordan went to the Globe with him, were he got outrageously drunk. Jordan also got drunk apparently and hurled. Biff apparently almost got picked up by a cougar, which is really funny, considering his past with older girls...ehehe. Anyway...but it was fun anyway, Aron showed up at my place early the next morning looking for a place to sleep before South Pacific's dress rehearsal that morning at 11. We showed up at dress, waited for Biff, who didn't show up. We were all freaking out, and laughing because he'd made a pact with Hilary and Eileen that if he didn't show up for dress rehearsal, they could have his salty nuts for breakfast. So, he finally arrived just as we were going to go on, and sat out the first act. Then Eileen had a good scream at him after the show...as if he wasn't feeling bad enough, eh? Well, he made it in good time for opening night the next day, I'll tell you H-what. And bees have the IQ of...well, bees. It spent a minute and a half trying to fly through the glass of my window, which I opened all the way to let it out. Kay, so then opening night was good, second night, however, not so much. We skipped a whole number because Sarah (Nellie Forbush, in the play) came out too soon. Then the sailors missed a bunch of lines in the third scene, but it was okay, the rest of the show went off with out a hitch as far as I know. That night, we all went to Hilary's for an show opening partay. We were all having a good time, talking about the show and different things, I was flirting with the cute props girl Kim for awhile, til she got a little too drunk to have any real conversation with. I made some magnet poetry on Hilary's fridge, and had excellent conversation with the grown ups. I feel the youngn's just don't have great party conversations, at least ones I want to be involved in. In a setting like that, I like to have intelligent conversation. Slowly the party herd started to thin out and soon enough all that was left was Hilary, Eileen, Aron and myself. We stayed up the whole night just chatting, eating as much of the left over food as we could, and, well, Hilary, Eileen and Aron continued to drink wine, wine, and cider and whiskey, respectively. I abstained. at about 4:30, Eileen left and Hilary, Aron and I began playing piano and singing music, such as Time to Say Goodbye and Ave Maria. At around 5:30 AM I left for home and ended up getting to sleep around 6:15, then had to drive Monkey to MalU around 10. Then I had rehearsal at 12, and had supper with Kelly, Maggie and Amanda. Hilary made an appearance for coffee, then had to leave. We had a great conversation about religion and such, and Maggie loves me because I'm Buddhist, which I think is awesome. Maggie is the most huggable girl I've ever met. She's my favourite. I also enjoy Amanda, who I've not had much chance to get to know, but seems like a very amiable young lady. Definitely a looker, too. And we all know Kelly is wonderful, and the most lovable director alive. Also, she turns into a jet plane, just add alchohol. After that dinner date with three gorgeous ladies, I went home, cleaned my house at the summons of my just returned and not-so-pleased parents, I chilled then went to bed. I got up around 12:30 this morning. Nothing happened all day, because I'm hella tired. I mowed the lawn, and now I'm going to head out to chill viz Lisa. This is the Dark Horse, signing off

Der Posten von Nichts.

2005-06-16T15:17:00.000-07:00

So yeah, the preview was great, both shows were excellent, and went off mostly without a hitch. At least, on the actors' side. On the first performance, the finale music didn't start, they had to find another CD to play it off of. Thankfully, we didn't wait long and everything was good. We had our first orchestra rehearsal for SP last night. It was a good spot of luck, we were leaving from the tent where we'd been trying to figure out how I was going to 'swim' for 'Hold Your Head Up High' in Honk!, we being Trish, Hilary and myself. We'd gone into QF to get food, when we were on our way out, we saw Biff hobbling around out front. The SP rehearsal was at Ballenas Secondary in Parksville, so we had no idea why the Biffster was in QB. We nabbed him and stuffed him into my car along with Trish, Hilary taking her own vehicle, of course. I say he was hobbling because he'd split his big toe open earlier that day. Not fun. Then, on our way out of QB, we saw Sophie pull up, so we turned around, and drove into the QF parking lot. Turns out she couldn't find the place, so I got her to follow me, and we all made it there in one piece. It was quite interesting. The rehearsal was good, the orchestra is going to sound awesome. I got an e-mail from Eileen saying they want to spray-tan me! I'm not so hot on that...I don't want to be unusually dark for 5-10 days...besides the fact that I'd look ridiculous for Honk! I'm going to see if I can't get around that. Other than that, there's not alot new in my life. I can't remember if I've said this already, but Biff, Jordan and I are thinking about renting a place next year so we can live together (and on our own) while we go to MalU. Wouldn't that be the coolest thing EVER?! Our house would be party central! And by party central, I mean we'd be hard at work, hehehe....really...Anyway, that's about it. I have to go to work soon. But I only have to be there for a couple hours. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

What the F**k?

2005-06-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the QBES preview is tomorrow morning (I have to get up at like, 6:30 to leave at 7:30 and be there at 8:30. How shitty is that?). It's funny, because our preview makes little to no sense. We start off with A Poultry Tale, the opening number like we did it for Premiere!, with the Ducklings and myself participating because we can't have us hatch and make it make sense with only a half hour to perform in, then we do our little scene where everyone is horrified by my appearance, and I sing 'Different', then the cat comes and says hello, we run off to eat lunch (little do I know -I'm- on the menu today!), then I get lost, there's the reporter scene where Maggie-Pie tells us about the missing duckling, yada yada, then the Goose Scene, after which my mother randomly pops out of nowhere and finds me, and I've magically transformed into a swan somehow in the scene change, then we walk off, return to the farm where I'm magically greeted by my swan girlfriend Penny who comes out of nowhere and hasn't been introduced at all, and we sing the finale numbers, the end. Doesn't make alot of sense when you think about it. Well, whaddayagonnado? It's like a demo, 'If you want the story to make any kind of sense, come see the actual show in July!" Ah well, it's good fun. Recital was good, I forgot one line in Camelot and in Music of the Night, but it was okay, they loved it anyway. And there was a girl there by the name of Sarah, I think, who was about the most gorgeous girl I've ever laid eyes on, and had a beautiful voice to go with it. I wanted to go chat her up after the show, but she left at the intermission, unfortunately. I really hope I see her again, cause, wow. And Saturday night was good fun. We did the whole potluck thing, which was great, then Kelly, Biff, Trish and Jordan and I went to the beach and chilled for awhile and talked about...various things. We dropped Kelly off, went back to Nanaimo, dropped Trish off, then went to Jordan's and did a little drinking with his family, Biff caught a cab home, and I slept on the futon upstairs. It was good times, great conversations, great fun. At Jordan's house, there is a door which leads to where a porch would be, but instead there is a 5 foot drop. Biff, in his inebriated state, went to the door to see if his cab had arrived, and fell straight down. We all got a good laugh out of it, but he was hurtin' in the morning. Ah well. I've got to get to bed, early morning. Night, all! Siht si eht Krad Esroh gningis ffo.

Paradigm shift!?

2005-06-08T00:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the last post was rather negative and fuck-this-shit. But I've decided that that isn't how I want to live. I'm going to live my life. I've got so much to look forward to! College next year, B2B all summer, lots and lots of fun and cute girls who will think I'm a star. BECAUSE I AM! I'M THE STAR OF THE SHOW!! I'm going to see Star Wars tomorrow. It's gonna be sweetness and a half. Kelly and I made this plan like a week and a half ago, to go to Star Wars together, with some other Honksters, I think Biff's coming too. Woohoo! Erik and I went to dance rehearsal at 11 this morning, Tim and Dawn were the only other ones there. And Julie, obviously. Then we hung around QB for the rest of the day from about 1 til Honk rehearsal at 4. Then Erik did homework while we rehearsed. It was pretty fun. We've figured out how we're going to do the QBES preview show. We're going to cut and paste scenes pretty much. It'll be fantastic. Though I feel it won't do the show justice, but oh well. It'll be good fun, and the kids will love it, I know they will. I get to sing my song!!! I'm kind of nervous. But very excited. That's about it. Oh, I went to see Janessa's play, and it was excellent. I love live theatre. Especially when my friends are in it. Welp, I'm off to bed. Work in the morning. Boo. Bies. Peace out, This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Chased my Chester for the last time.

2005-06-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

I quit Chasing Chester. Apparently, Grace and Spencer don't like how I "tell them what to do". Is it not my place to have some kind of direction on a song that -I- write? Whatever. If they don't like how I do things, they can keep their fucking band. And it had to come when I was having one the shittiest days of the year. It wasn't really anything that happened. I just feel really ugly. On the inside, and the outside. It's been causing me a bit of trouble. I don't want to be the admirer, I want to be the admired. Is that so wrong? I feel like I just want someone to admire me. Only hitch in that plan is that I have nothing to admire. Oh well, I guess I'll just feel shitty for a few days then try to forget about it and get on with my life. What else can I do? Fuck. This is the Dark Horse, signing off. Fuck.

Falling Away With You

2005-05-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

So this past few days have been crazy fun. Friday, I went to Glenn's and hung out with everyone, that was fun, and ended up sleeping there. It was cool, and stuff. Nothing -really- exciting or wild happened. But it was still fun, just hanging with the boys and girls of Nanaimo. Then Saturday things picked up and got crazy. We had Honk rehearsal, and Beth had to leave early for her prom, and picked up her date and brought him later on during our break. Also during this break, we played a game in which we paired random members of the cast and talked about what their babies would be like. It was hilarious and awesome. Apparently, I got paired with Sophie, even though she wasn't there. I missed that part of the conversation, but I heard later what they'd said our babies would look like: Tall and skinny. If you don't know Sophie, you can probably figure out what she looks like by that. Before I heard about this, though, we were in a convenience store in Qualicum, and they said something about 'Geoff and Sophie', and not having heard what they were talking about, I was like 'whoa, waitaminute now, folks, who told you -that-?' But I'm getting ahead of myself. Also, Aleisha and my babies would be 'cute'. 'How domestic.' I replied. So after rehearsal, we went to see Beth in her prom parade. Somehow we thought they'd be at the QB Civic Center, so we parked our cars -right- where they passed by, near the B2B tent, and walked up to the QBCC. Then we sat on the grass and chatted. By 'we', I mean, Biff, Kelly, Taylor, Aleisha, Mo and myself. We had some random conversation. One highlight:
Aleisha: (pointing to a plastic QF food container and Biff's shoes) -This- could be space age material! -These- could be space age materials!!
Geoff: -That- is plastic, and -Those- were made by kids in a sweat shop.
Also, Biff ripped up half the lawn. Then we got tired of waiting and walked back, upon which we found the parade passing right by where we parked, and groaning in dissapointment when we realized Beth had already gone by. Then we decided we weren't ready to go home, so we hopped back in our cars and went to Kelly's in Nanaimo. Then Aleisha and Taylor got picked up by their parents, and we went on an adventure to find Mo's boy. We eventually found him building a karate dojo near Mac's across from Country Club. I saw Andrew Sutherland there, randomly, which was ultra cool. Did you know I bought my prom suit from him last year? Anyway. Then we phoned Ryan and Jesse, who were bowling in Parksville, so we went back to Parksville (second time that day) it was about 8 by then. So we went bowling with them, and I found that I had better luck, and aim, most of the time if I did a little dance before I threw the bowling ball. It was hilarious, but sweaty hot in that bowling hall. Ryan had a head start on the drinking that night by downing 3/4 of Kelly's pitcher of beer. After bowling, Kelly, Biff and I decided we wanted to get loaded drunk at the beach. Mo and Adrian (Mo's boyfriend) didn't drink that night, because Mo had to drive us home. So we went to the liqueur store and bought a 12 pack of Miller for Biff and a bottle of Crown Royal with a 2L of coke for Kelly and myself. We then headed to the beach, when we realized we didn't have cups for our Crown Royal and Coke, and Kelly needed to pee, and made that fact quite clear, so Kelly and I went to Dairy Queen and got cups. Then we sat down on the beach, drank our alchohol, got liberally smashed and complained about our love lives, while Mo and Adrian just kind of laughed at us. It was quite fun. And yes, I know I said I would never drink again after that night, but this time, I had a reason to get drunk. And I didn't get a hang-over in the morning. Biff, on the other hand, was still somewhat drunk by the time we got to rehearsal Sunday morning. He ended up drinking nine bottles of Miller that night. Then we went home to Kelly's house, left my car at the beach, because Adrian didn't drive or something, and Mo and Adrian went home. We were all on the haida bed downstairs, but Biff snored alot, so Kelly went upstairs to her own bed. It was good times. And then we rehearsed, and then we went home. That's it, now I have work. Have a great day, everyone, this is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Premiere!

2005-05-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! Premiere went great! Everything pulled together when it needed to, and it went great! We remembered all our words in all our songs, the dances went excellently, it was a great night! I haven't slept in my own bed two nights in a row. Friday night we decided to head over to Laura's house after dress rehearsal, it was Laura, obviously, Ryan, Aron, Beth, Jesse, Biff and myself. Jesse and Biff left early, but Aron, Ryan, Beth and I stayed the night. Biff caught a cab early that morning, he had shazz to do that morning. Beth and I slept on the couch (it had two parts, so we both got a good section of couch to sleep on, not piled on top of each other, haha), Aron slept somewhere, I'm still not sure where. I thought he'd disappeared the next morning, and Ryan slept in Laura's room...cough cough. Hahaha, Ryan had alot of whiskey that night. It was full of shenanigans and fun. We stayed up and watched the Sunday night sex show with that old lady who looks like she hasn't had sex in so long that you'd think she wouldn't know what she's talking about anymore. Then Biff went home and we slept. Then, last night, after Premiere, we meandered about at the QBCC, Qualicum Beach Civic Center, meeting the audience and the cast's families and such, then we went to Elizabethany's house and hung out there with Amanda, Maggie and the other girl whose twin sister goes to Wellington and whom I'm passingly acquainted with, I think. Then they left, and it was Beth, Aleisha, Trish, Jordan and myself, and somehow we ended up spooning, the five of us, on Beth's bed, it was really funny. In order, from the wall to the edge of the bed was myself, Aleisha, Beth, Trish then Jordan. It was a lady sandwich and Jordan and me were the manly bread! Hahaha, oh it was fun, then Trish and Jordan got in trouble from Beth's parents for sleeping in the same bed. Whoops! But it was cool, then we went from French Creek straight to rehearsal, and afterwards, Jordan, Biff, Beth, Aleisha and I went to Value Village in Nanaimo, and as we were leaving we saw a couple walking away, and the guy was grabbing this girl's ass so aggresively, it looked like he was trying to cop a feel from the back! All I could say was 'WHAT the hell are you doing?' in a very high pitched voice, and we all laughed. In other news, Biff, Jordan and I all got into MALASPINA THEATRE PROGRAM!!!!! Whoop! I broke up with Grace. I'm sorry. That's it for now. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Has meaning this post.

2005-05-07T02:08:00.000-07:00

I want to say something meaningful in this post. That is to say, something that will make you think. But I am not sure what. A philosophical question is simply the most basic question of all. Such as: Who am I? What am I doing here? Why can I ask these questions? We ask ourselves questions because we need a platform from which to base our thoughts, a center from which our web can begin. But we never think to explore the web, even though we are stuck in our place, we can see the rest of it. Human consciousness has not truly developed in our entire existance. Times have changed, but all that has really changed is our ability to create things, and our culture has advanced, but our evolution has halted. The old evolution is over, of the obsolete perishing and the new taking dominance. The new evolution will be the evolution of the mind, of the spirit, of the consciousness. We have only begun to realize the human potential. We must create this new paradigm, this new humanity, ourselves, on the individual basis. Humanity is crude and thoughtless, more like to animals than intelligent beings. Humans, individuals of great intelligence and conscience, are the real intelligences. The new evolution has been occuring for centuries, but only in certain people. The philosophers, the saints, the great artists. These are the new evolutions. The old paradigm is of dominance, of superiority and discrimination, the new one will be of harmony, of truth and justice. We only need, as a species, to realize our potential as human beings, to become, each and every one of us, philosophers and saints. It seems rather unlikely in the near future. But if we look at human development, it seems like we are rapidly gaining speed in our technological evolution, and maybe soon we will be ready for the new, spiritual evolution. In other news, I have decided that if I need a monologue in the future, I should use the one from Waking Life with the shape-shifting man. That is all for now, goodnight. I have rehearsal tomorrow morning. This is the Evolving Dark Horse, signing off.

MORP II: Son of MORP

2005-05-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

Morp is actually prom, but Kevin likes to type it backwards for some reason. Well, prom was excellent. I liked it better than my first, because I had an awesome tuxedo this time, I liked the people I hung out with more, and I went with Mel, whose dress was the best (and biggest) thing ever! First of all, Dover prom was so much bigger! The room at Beban must have been at least twice the size of the place at the Coast Bastion, the dance was alright. It was just fun, dancing around and stuff. One funny part of the wine and cheeses was at Laura's. 'This would have matched with the dress Martha was going to wear." Talk about awkward, hahaha. Oh well, a good time was had by all. MORP is fun! Then Spencer went missing last night, and I saw Angie at the ice cream shop on Departure Bay, as well as Annika, Spencer's little sister. I told her to kick him if she saw him. It has been an okay couple of days. Yesterday was not so great. I had some trouble at work, but they let me off, so it is not a problem. Then I had some trouble at the bank, but I sorted it out this morning. Then today I had to mow the lawn, but the lawnmower was being a bitch. It sucked. Hopefully my woes are over for now. And so is this post. So long, and thanks for all the fish, asshole. This is the MORPED Dark Horse signing off.

Honk!

2005-04-23T01:51:00.000-07:00

I am totally obsessed with Honk! Jr. I could not be having any more fun if I tried. The cast is wonderful, I love our directors, Hilary and Kelly, and the show itself is great. It is cheesy and sappy and I love it so! For those of you who do not know, Honk! Jr is the 'abridged' version of the original Honk! that beat out the Lion King in England. It is the tale of the ugly duckling. Let me tell you, nobody likes Ugly 'cept momma, and the rest of the duckyard is pretty harsh. I guarantee, if you come see it, WHICH YOU WILL, you will feel pretty bad for me. It is a wonderful show and it will be so good when we finish it, you will all love it -when- you come to see it, WHICH YOU WILL. Also, the Cat, played by everyone's favorite Laura McNaught, is always trying to get duckling on the menu.
Cat: "I'm having you for lunch."
Ugly: "Yes, I know you are. I mean what are we going to eat?"
Very fun. Also, the little girls are great. Hilary told them to be really mean to me, and they are doing a good job. I am going to be curled up in a fetal ball before and after shows for fear of my 'little sisters'. Actually, they hatch before me, so they are, in the show, older than I, but I am bigger than them, so, 'little'. I am very tired. So, I will leave you with the show's tagline: HONK! This is the Ugly Dark Horse, signing off.

"Resistance is not futile,

2005-04-09T10:22:00.000-07:00

we're gonna win this thing, humankind is too good, we're not a bunch of under-achievers! We're gonna stand up, and we're gonna be human beings. We're going to get fired up about the real things, the things that matter! Creativity, and the dynamic human spirit that refuses to submit!"

A little more Waking Life for you. That guy was awesome. He drives around in his car which has loudspeakers strapped to the roof and yells out pro-humanity, anti-corporate sentiments. It is pretty cool.

"There's only one instant, and it's right now. And it's eternity."

That guy was played by the director. There is so much in that movie, I cannot even get over it. I love it. I think everyone should watch this movie.

"Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time by moments flabbergasted to be in each others presence."

And this guy was just crazy. 'Speed' Levitch. I wonder how you get a nickname like 'Speed'...anyway. HONK! Jr is going to be so much fun. We are going to look at birds today at a farm or lake of some sort. We have to move and act like poultry, because we are not going to be dressed up like animals. It is going to be the most fun evorb. I cannot wait to get started!

"Which is a more common human trait; fear, or laziness?"

That is an excellent line. This is the Dark Horse, signing off

I guess it does not run in the family.

2005-04-05T17:08:00.000-07:00

So my dad says he is going to support me and stop hassling me about getting a job. Too bad my mom is not. Nothing has changed. She keeps bugging me about things I can do on my own, but she seems to think I am completely dependant. They do not understand things would be alot easier for me and for them if they just stopped being bitches about it. I mean, are you not more inclined to do something you know you should do when your parents are not constantly on your back about it? I know I am. I am sorry, but my parents are so infuriating. They are actually the only people in the world who could make me turn violent. Anyway. I got a classical guitar. They said I could have it. This will stay my wrath for now (what wrath?). I cannot figure out if there is actually rehearsal tonight. I think there is, but I am not sure. Argh. That is enough for now.

Farewell, Kevin Johnstone.

2005-04-01T22:56:00.000-08:00

After a long battle with cancer, Kevin Johnstone has died. I send my most heartfelt condolences to the Johnstone family, they have been so strong throughout this ordeal. For those of you who don't know, Kevin was the brother of Derek Johnstone, the Youth Leader at Brechin United Church. Kevin died this past week. He will be missed, but we take some small condolence in the thought that his spirit is closer to the force which binds all of existance together. He will be missed. He was a good person, his death has really hit Derek and the Johnstones hard. It will be a long and hard road to recovery for them. So, I ask you, even though you do not know them, to think of the Johnstones in your prayers or meditations. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Waking Life? (3/35 days left till...Grace comes back/the vow is complete)

2005-03-29T23:11:00.000-08:00

I just saw 'Waking Life'. Makes you think about alot of things. What is reality? Reality is what the mind perceives, but we think of reality as a constant, but it is not a constant, is it? It is our own perceptions twisted by our bias, our own mind conceives what we perceive. Are we dreaming now? Perhaps all of life is dreaming, and the waking life only really appears when we realize we are dreaming. Buddhism says that all reality is an illusion, that we in fact create our life from what we think in our minds. Who can tell that what we are really here, that we exist as we see ourselves? We exist in ourselves. As though we are the only ones who exist in a world full of illusions. Everyone outside of ourself, we have no guarantee they really exist. The basis of our entire existance is the assumption that everything around us is really there, that what happens is really happening. Without such a concrete fantasy to lead, we may very well fall apart. But we would not know, because we cannot get out of this dream. Perhaps everything is a lucid dream, a dream we can control. Once you realize you are dreaming, you can control the dream. It makes you wonder what exactly this all is about. What do we believe? If it is all a dream, why do we continue to act as though we are bound by the laws of physics? Perhaps if I believe enough, I could float above this world and do anything I wanted to do, because in a dream, a lucid dream, when you know you are dreaming and realize that, you can control it. So could I control this world? I do not know. This illusion is so real, we believe dreams are real because the part of our brain that tells us we are hallucinating, that is, dreaming, shuts off when we dream, that is why dreams seem so real. We go through life, some of us believing in God, others believe in reincarnation, some in nothing at all, some of us believe that when we die, we go to a hole in the ground. But what happens to our consciousness? Does it float up to heaven, does it return to a new body, does it simply melt and dissipate like mist in the sunlight? Are we just waiting for something, a sign to tell us it is alright to let go of our mortal bodies and become one with infinity? We hold on to our life because we are unsure of what will happen afterward. We are afraid that this reality is the dream and when we wake up, there will be no more reality. We get up continually but never wake up. The age of humanity is waiting for us to make ourselves. Our time has not yet come, and once we realize that we have yet to create ourselves, what will we do? We do not know how to create ourselves yet. We do not know how to wake up. And we never will as long as we dream without knowing it. Realize that you are dreaming, then you will be able to control your dream. Dream is Destiny. This is the Dreaming Dark Horse, signing off.

40 days...

2005-03-26T01:13:00.000-08:00

Well, folks, in due course, I've taken the vow...somewhat. Not in its entirety. I will not chase my chester (that is, masturbate, for those of you who are uncultured), or go past first base until May 5th. It will be long, and it will be tough, but I am strong. And coincidentally, so is Glenn, and we will resist temptation and prove that we can do it. Hoorah for restraint! Day one - Friday March 25th. Day 40 - May 5th. Good luck Glenn, we'll need it.

This post is untitled.

2005-03-18T23:45:00.000-08:00

Chasing Chester played the Dover Battle of the Bands. We sucked. But alot of it wasn't our fault, which you already know if you've talked to any of us about it. The vocal mic was too quiet - not our fault, the techies were comptrolling (I just like the word comptroller, it's funny) the mic, wasn't our fault. We didn't get a sound check, or the opportunity to properly tune our instruments. So basically, the whole thing was the suck. Grace poked me with a straw today, and scratched the web of my pinky and ring finger on my left hand. It hurts. She leaves in less than two hours. 19 hours on two planes. 14 hours to England, 5 hours to Bali. Aw, sweetie. Have fun in Bali. I don't envy your sitting on a plane for almost a whole day, but I do envy your going to freaking Asia. Also, I will miss you. Lots. In other news, I bought new video games. Call of Duty (Game of the Year Edition), and Front Mission 4. Call of Duty is probably the best WWII game ever, hands-down. And Front Mission 4 is about giant robots with guns. How is that not cool? The first Front Mission was for the SNES, and it was sweet. I haven't played the other two. But it's fun. Video games are rocksome. That's all for today. No further questions. I don't know where, I don't know when, but something awful is going to happen. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

I come from a long line of humans...

2005-03-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

Wulf Zendik was a genius. This is taken from www.zendik.org. Makes you think, no?
"I remember just a few short years ago another little impotent psychopath destroyed a large chunk of earth and souls. He stood and said to a group of psychopaths as stupid but not so cunning as himself, “You are supermen”--and they believed him and built iron-doored ovens for baking Gypsy & Jew and cruel-treaded tanks for smashing Poles and supersonic rockets for disintegrating English... No don’t prattle to me of man’s social progress! The same thing can, and might, happen in America, North or South--France--anywhere. People are people and they all, no matter what the color or form of their skin and eyes and hair are filled with the same feelings of inadequacy, incompetency, longing for security, hate of mother and father and other men and women--full of beaten, distorted, defiled, twisted instincts. I’m saying that in our contemporary world people still judge others by the color of their eye or skin, and this is a living hell we are in where a person’s thoughts and actions are relatively inconsequential compared with the color of eye or skin. Think... Could you have devised a more effective hell?
All right, granted no progress intellectually, psychologically or sociologically--but technologically? Ah, yes--technologically we live in a fairyland where what man can conceive with mind, he can do with hand. The depth of oceans, the deepest depths of earth and the limitless expanse of space will be his, and for what? New battlefields, new arenas for conquest with his new death toys--no matter how devastating against his environment, himself, his own kind or perhaps one day against newly-encountered beings of space. Is there an alternative to this dire prediction? Is there no hope for these two-legged mammals gone mad? And why? Why? Because there is no Why--not a real, introspective Why, no beautiful Why. No, not one in a thousand thoughts. A thousand thoughts of material gain and physical conquest and intellectual pride--and not one Why of motive and desire, not one thought on True mental or physical cause-and-effect. Not one irreverently free of the fads and trends of the day. No such Why--No such Whys.
If the technical scientist in his sterile white coat in his sterile white laboratory looking through the might of his microscope, would turn that looking-glass inside himself, apply that incredibly channeled intellect to self-whys... as you must and I must--perhaps he would see and feel his need and look out the windows--do they still have windows in laboratories?--and see the earth and sky and sun and grass and birds and trees all busy with living, and think of the good of a woman to be loved, of soft earth under his feet, of laying on the grass talking with a friend he loves.
If a little psychopath stood and said to him or you, “Come--come with me--we will conquer the world and kill men and rape women--together we will do this because you are clever and I am cunning and together we can take and take and have our way and be masters and they our slaves and rape is better than love”--what would you say? I know--Yes, I know he is clever. Yes, his cunning is gripping your ego tight and he knows precisely where to grab--knows where you are vulnerable--that is his business, to know your place of vulnerability--and you are vulnerable, you know. I am--you are--and he knows--knows where.
A Why to him, or profoundly to yourself, will stop him, or her or whoever or whatever wants hold of your ego. A Why--a simple Why--why do we want to conquer the world, why do you want to kill and rape, why do you need me--why do I want to go with you? Why are your soul-shackling laws right and my pleasure instincts wrong? And when you question them, interrogate them with your simple, repeated, sincere, curious, wide-eyed Why--at first the answer comes full with rhetoric, ostentatious, high-sounding... But Why--Why--Why--you gently pry at them, or hammer violently at them--but always the sincere Why. Little by little, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, they begin to deteriorate before your eyes--because they cannot answer--they have no truth--only greed to conquer and possess--and soon the evil stench of their disintegrating will fills the air and their hands fall, empty of your ego--empty of your soul--and you are free to go or to stay, help them or leave them, but free... And all you said was Why..."
--Wulf Zendik
from "a Quest Among the Bewildered"

Stuff and stuff. I'm an Ugly Duckling!

2005-02-28T17:18:00.000-08:00

Callbacks came from Bard to Broadway, and I got the lead in Honk Jr, the Ugly fuckin' Duckling! Wooooooooo! *throws up the horns!* I'm fucking metal (not really)! Anyways, I also have the car on the road, and I must say, it's le awesome, having your own car to drive around. And yes, I can fit all the band equipment in it. W007! Well, at least Spencer's and my stuff. Drums are an entirely other story, peepes. It's brilliant. We're stealing Jon's bass amp on band practice nights, so Spencer gets an amp, and we get to be louder overall, woohoo! It's our first monthiversary, Fiona and mine, that is. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time when I'm with her. 'I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes, like puzzle pieces from the clay', thanks, Postal Service. That's how I feel about Fiona, like we are two puzzle pieces that fit perfectly together. You know, how sometimes there are pieces that just don't fit together, and some that kind of fit together, but are the wrong part or don't fit quite right, and the right pieces fit together perfectly, and help complete the picture. I'd like to see a puzzle made with all the people in the world on it, and see how it fits together, wouldn't that be crazy? It'd be huge and each piece would have so many sides, can you imagine that? It'd be impossible, the pieces would have to be constantly changing to show the connections we have to people. Maybe it would be possible on a computer. That's be pretty sweet, I must say. I realised not too long ago that my band members are my new best friends. Obviously, Fiona, but I've been spending most of my socialising time with Spencer and Fiona, and Spencer's also become a real buddy to me. It's cool, just hanging out with him, like on Saturday night, we had a movie night/sleepover at Kelsey's, it was Fiona and me and Spencer and Kelsey, it was really cool, we watched Robin Williams Live at the Met (1986, the old one), The Vagina Monologues, and about half of RW Live on Broadway, it was sweet. But Spencer was supposed to go home that night, and stayed and got himself grounded. So now we have to figure out what the hell we're doing tonight for band practice. See, he's not allowed to LEAVE HIS HOUSE. Eep. Harsh. Anyway, I'm having a ball. Except, of course, I haven't finished my Engrish course and the semester's over, but my parents don't know that. Eeeeeeep. Well, that'll be fun. Welp, that's about it. Peace out y'all. This is the Ugly Duckling/Dark Horse, signing off.

If this is right, I wish I was wrong.

2005-02-16T23:42:00.000-08:00

The opening line to some lyrics I wrote today. I haven't been able to get a chord progression to it yet. CC's audition for the Battle of the Bands was this afternoon, it was pretty good. I think we'll get in. It'll be sweet. Suzie came with her, and brought the famous (or perhaps infamous) around 'Hi Nanaimo!' Ron Ganderton, whose band Sound Ceremony did the beginning and end songs of Suzie's show. I'd never met Ron before, so it was cool, and Suzie met my band. My car's on the road tomorrow afternoon! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!
Carmen gave Monkey and me bags of cinnamon hearts when mom and I went to pick him up from her place once. I still have a million hearts left. Oh well. Had Fiona over tonight, since we weren't going to jam right after we auditioned. We played Philosophy in Transit, it was pretty sweet. And yes, the new and improved A Negative Reaction will be making its return when and if we get into the battle. I found my old stuffed animal tiger that Monkey and I have identical copies of. Except Monkey's tiger's ear got bitten off by the dog, so nyarhar on him. Mine's ears just go opposite directions, which I think is cute. The left ear points forward, and the right one goes back. It's so old, I love it. It's going to be CC's mascot from now on, because I have decreed it so. So Grace and I hung out and stuff, she asked me to talk about my life, so I told her about Brechin United Church and how I knew everyone there because my family's gone there forever and my dad was minister there once. Reverend David Moddle. I've basically told her all about Her. She doesn't seem to mind that I fail, which is nice. At least, I hope she doesn't mind. Although, sometimes I feel jaded in comparison to her relative innocence. I often regret ever having failed. Yes, you read correctly; I regret failing. I love her. We fit almost perfectly together, more than anyone before. My tiger's name is Eric, we named him thus, my brother and I. Monkey's is called Jake. Or maybe Jack. I think it was Jack. I've memorized 'I'll See You In My Dreams' pretty well. I'm accumulating a large pile of Dalai Lama quote papers from my calendar. I'm listening to 'The Scientist' by Coldplay on repeat. 'Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part, nobody said it was easy, noone ever said it would be this hard'. I like Doritos. Heh, heh...Do-ree-toooos. I need to learn how to drive a stick shift. I'm sucky at it. I'll just take me Colt (my 'steed', as Grace called it, not realizing that it was in fact a Colt, as in the horse) and drive it up and down the street a few zillion times. W007! I'm excited about the car-ness, I hope I can fit all the band equipment in it. Could be a tight fit. But it is a hatchback. We can do it! Anyway, that's all that happening with me now. Peace out, y'all. This post was kind of random and ADD-like. Oh well, This is the Dark Horse, signing off

'Cause maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me, and after all, you're my wonderwall

2005-02-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

Yeah, Wonderwall. It's a really good. I was watching the Listed Top 40 albums of the past 25 years on MuchMore Music. That show was #40-21. 'Dookie' by Greenday was #30. Oasis: '(What's the story) Morning Glory' was 20-something. I can't remember. 'A Rush Of Blood To The Head' by Coldplay was up there too in the 20's. I had to leave before the end. Oh well. So I downloaded Wonderwall by Oasis and Clocks by Coldplay. Our audition is on Wednesday for the BotB. I hope we can get in another practice before then. What's our audition song, by the way, lady and smellyman? Also, Drew introduced me to AFI. It's pretty good. I had Fiona over last night, and we watched the Concert for George. I didn't cry during 'I'll See You In My Dreams' this time, but I did shed a tear during 'All Things Must Pass'. And I was a little distracted. Speaking of movies, anyone who was my Comparative Civ class last year: What was that movie called that we watched that was really awesome and was not 'Quest For Fire'? I can't remember what it was called, but it was so sweet. That one scene with the monk with the bell in Japan or something, and the slowly tilting city shot in fast forward with the cars, that was an awesome movie. Anyway, yeah, that's stuff. The Down With Love party is tomorrow, and I'll be bringing Fiona. So, if you don't know who she is, you will meet her. We had dinner at her house on Wednesday, it was extra fun. Her friend Drew was there, he was cool, and vegetarian. Also, her dad's friend Donnie, who was really funny, and a luthier (makes guitars). He made the really awesome Telecaster that Fiona's dad owns. We watched a good portion of 'The Party', this crazy 60's comedy with Peter Sellers as an East Indian fellow who was accidentally invited to a posh party, and keeps getting himself into trouble. It was funny and random. Then we went and bought the Gross One doughnuts because he's Broken! By all your lies, broken! By your own silence, Broken! So tell me why, because I'm broken! But we had to leave because his sister was like 'it's curfew, make your friends leave' So we had to go. And apparently his family ate all the doughnuts and he only got one of the four we left for him. Poor Spencer. I've seen alot of movies lately. Phantom (twice), In Good Company, Lemony Snicket...it's supper time, peace out y'all, this is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Wilson Pascoe is my God.

2005-02-05T02:04:00.000-08:00

I worship him. I went to the CD release party for Wilson Pascoe's new album, Enough. It was awesome in an awesome kind of way. Jon, Jay and such people were there as well, I brought Fiona. It was cool, she got to meet my brother and Jay. I'm listening to Wilson's CD now, it's wonderful. I got goosebumps during some of those songs. He has so much emotion that goes into his music and you can feel it when he plays. Then Grace and I went back to my place where I found the Comp. Civ. art video and showed it to her. It was pretty cool. Laura would probably remember what I'm talking about. Then we listened to George while I taught her how to play pool. It was great, we had a good time. No details for you. You'd probably think it was boring anyway, wouldn't you? We're supposed to be recording some shat today at 4 PM. Don't get excited though, it won't be on sale. We've got some pretty sweet songs. Wait till you hear 'Philosophy in Transit', you guys'll love it. (I solo in it, muhahaha), and 'Broken', which is freaking awesome, and you may or may not hear some 'angst' and 'screaming' in that one. And of course, the classic 'A Negative Reaction', which we played at the Dover Variety Night. Also included in our set is randomly named 'Long Blank', and the straight-forward and generically angry 'Private Paradise'. We may or may not do a cover of 'Zombie' by the Cranberries. And yes, I can sing it. It'll be pretty sweet, we hope to get in on the Dover Battle of the Bands. We'll rock your socks off, no doubt about it. Ah yes, and I splurged today. I bought 'Prince of Persia: Warrior Within' for the PS2 and a memory card, worth over 100$ in total...ouch. But it's a sweet game, and we needed the memory card. The first was totally out of space. Well, I'm really tired, and have to work and play guitar/sing tomorrow. Not to mention play a lot of PoP:WW. Also, Grace is the most wonderful girl in the world. So this is the Very Content Dark Horse, signing off.

Okay...

2005-01-31T00:17:00.000-08:00

Well, it seems blogger won't let people comment on my last post, so I must refrain from chastising you all for not commenting. Although, you could have commented on the previous post, you ritardandos. Just messing with you. Anyway, helped out with the Celtic Concert, my god I can't type tonight, I've made numerous typos already. WTF, windows? F off. My computer is penis. So this is going to be one of those messed up random posts. So I'm talking to What'sisface Drew and Y'know...Kevin. They're cool and stuff. Drew and I discussed the matter of our 'attachments' briefly. Good stuff. Yes, that is correct, folks, I have an 'attachment'. We've so far somewhat kept a lid on the matter, so I won't mention her name. We'll just say it's a surprise. I must say though, she is very cute. I'm happy with it. I hope she's happy, too. So Chasing Chester is gonna be in the Battle of the Bands, if all goes well! *Throws up der Hornen* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm not sure when our audition is, though, so tell me if you would, guys :S...so that'll be awesome and stuff. We've got a bunch of new songs, you guys are gonna love it to death!! The full-length album comes out sometime between now and eternity, and the Live DVD shortly thereafter. Don't hold your breath. But this BootB is going to be f'in sweet, and we're totally gonna get in because we're f'in sweet. Isn't that right, Grace (A.K.A. Fiona) and Spencer (A.K.A. the Gross One)? Am I Geoff (A.K.A. Jesus)? I suppose so, that's kind of my nickname with you guys. I think it's even better after watching 'Saved!'. What a great movie. 'Jesus is watching', so funny. 'I thiiiiink I'm gaaaaaaaayyyy!' hahaha...anyways. That's about it for now, I suppose. Feel free to comment about the previous post on this one, cause blogger's wierd. Kay, we out. This is the Finally Re-Attached Dark Horse, signing off.

The Art of Dying.

2005-01-28T00:35:00.000-08:00

I'd like to touch, if I may, on one of my favourite subjects; George Harrison! I watched parts of the Concert For George with Melly tonight, and, as always, cried during 'I'll See You In My Dreams'. It makes me so happy. The fact that one person could spur such a gathering of great musicians and wonderful people, wonderful spirits, uplifts my own spirit immensely. Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr share the same stage for the first time since the rooftop concert at the end of the Beatles' group career. Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Joe Brown, Eric Clapton, Ravi Shankar, his daughter Anoushka, and probably the most powerful, yet fittingly quietest of them all, Dhani Harrison, George's son. His presence on the stage brings a feeling that in a way, George is there. I always feel a special connection when I watch it, a personal feeling to it. George has been a huge influence in my life, musically, spiritually. He was a beautiful soul, and I look up to him. It's such a powerful experience to see his friends getting up and performing his music with all their hearts, and they seem to enjoy it so much, each one has a smile on their face as they sing and play all your favourite George Harrison tunes. George was truly an amazing person. He understood so much as common sense that most people would never realize in their lives. My only sadness comes from the fact that he left us so soon. Truly, the brighter light burns out faster. He was so...human, in that he had weaknesses and short-comings, and his humanity made him even more amazing. Most people simply don't admit their own weaknesses when they're that famous, but he realized he was only human, and didn't try to hide it from the world. Not to say that all other famous musicians do that. In fact, I'm sure the older musicians realize it as well, like the ones who played at the concert. Fame these days is much more vain, plaster casted. Those musicians, the true musicians, are raw and powerful, more so than anyone could be these days. I would have loved to be a musician like them back in their day. Instead, I'll just have to be raw and powerful in my own time. We are the new generation, we can't let the feeling they made in the past be destroyed by the new power of the future, we have to keep music music, that rawness, that power is what we need in this day, more than ever. George knew that. He knew what mattered in this world. Truth, love for one another, harmony, and peace. These are the things we have forgotten and need to find again. We're so blinded by our preconceptions and our own lives that we cannot see the forest for the trees. We need to regain our view of the world as it is; right understanding, in the Buddhist terms. Give up our assumptions and opinions and see the world objectively. Which is hard, because what we see as the absolute truth can be wrong, so while we think we're being objective, it's probable that our own prejudice could be clouding our judgement. Anyway, that's me. Goodnight, Nanaimo. Sleep well. This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

I wonder how long this title can be, I wonder if you could just put your entire post into the title and just not even need a post at all, I've found T

2005-01-23T22:27:00.000-08:00

he end. It appears there is a limited space in which to put your title. Too bad. I enjoy long titles. I miss kissing. I want to be kissed. And I mean really kissed, not play kissing or spin-the-bottle kissing. 'I want you to pretend that we are in love again...' The Postal Service, what awesome stuff, I'm listening to the few songs I have by them non-stop. I mean, I want someone I'm in love with to kiss me. What a wonderful feeling. Wouldn't it be crazy to be able to tell your true love just by kissing them? But then I suppose it would be too easy. W0u1dn'7 17 33 4nn0y1ng 1f 1 0n1y 5p0k3 1n 13375p34k? Sorry. Typo in that last sentence made me think of that. Anyway, in the news, I spent last night doing next to nothing with Fiona Grace Pickell. For hours. I came over to jam around 7 and we played Chasing My Chester, which will now be called Broken once, cause Spencer couldn't make it cause he's smelly and also, the official title of 'The Gross One', then tried to write a new verse for my random soft song about busses and life. Then we ended up just sitting in front of her couch, trying to be comfortable and just kind of vegging and talking about little or nothing. We had a highlighter war, I got pink all over her arm, and she got yellow on me somewhere, I'm not sure where, cause it was yellow and didn't show up too well on me. Then later, she surprised me with the pink and got it on my face. Fiona. *Shakes fist* I had to wash it off in the morning before going to my AUDITION! Seems like a long time to be talking about one thing that happened, but really, this is about all that happened that day. I stayed til about 12:00. I was just too lazy to get up and leave, and she was just too lazy to kick me out. So I played my guitar some, and we just kind of generally hung out for a long time. Vegged alot. Talked about philosophy and how messed up the earth was, and world domination. It was good times. Anyway, my audition went okay, I suppose. I remembered my monologue, but I messed up the timing on my song. We saw DC there, it was pretty cool. He had a good monologue. It was a good time. We also saw Trish. That was good. Um, yeah. Then I went and hung out with Mel, got some Timmy Ho's, then went to Lantzville, visited Martha, then went to Mel's for supper. I love her family, it is excellent. They're funny and awesome people. Jelody...hahaha. Good times. Anyway, that's about all I have to talk about. Give me musak to put on the radio, folks! This is the Dark Horse, signing off

The quintessential human questions.

2005-01-20T21:10:00.000-08:00

Who Am I? Why Am I Here? What Is My Purpose? What -is- Michael Jackson? Well, I'm going to be a trend-whore and spell out what I want from life as Brianna and Martha have done.

I want to be famous.
Kind of what everyone wants around here, eh? But it's true. I want to get my message out. I want to be in a big-time band, going on tour, playing video games and having way too much fun with my band on our big-ass tour bus. I want that. I want people to know what I stand for, and to believe in me.

I want to make a difference in the world. I want to change someone's mind. I want to contribute to the growth of the world and the creation of loving-kindness in a world where peace and justice seem unable to co-exist anymore. I want to change the ways things are and make them better for all people, more so for those who need the help. I'd like to help make the rich poorer and the poor richer.

I want to further my spirituality. I want to understand the way things in this world work. I want to understand things that aren't explained by science and logic, to progress down the path of enlightenment. I want to travel to India and Nepal, and talk with Buddhist monks, even practice with them. I want to see Tibet freed from the Chinese regime. I want to see His Holiness retake his rightful place in Lhasa.

I want to find true love. I want to find my true love, my romantic soul mate. Love truly makes the world go 'round, and it's important to me to find someone I can cherish and devote myself to whole-heartedly for the rest of my life. I mean, who doesn't want to be loved?

I want to find somewhere peaceful to live out my days. After I've been a famous rock-star, I want to spend my last years in a cottage in the forest, next to a lake, with all numbers of pets and animals. I especially want eight dogs, because eight is my number. And a horse. Maybe some cats, lizards. Maybe I'd create an aviary. Have birds and lizards and such. I wouldn't keep them in captivity of course. Maybe I'd nurse wounded animals back to health. That would add some real meaning to it. I wouldn't have any modern 'amenities'. I'd live a hermit, I'd grow my own food, live off the land in a way. I'd like that.

And that's all I can think of for now. The major stuff, anyways. Peace out, y'all! This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Monday is the busiest day ever.

2005-01-17T00:12:00.000-08:00

9:30ish: I must be at the bus stop to get to CHLY by 10:15 (the show is at 11:00.)
11:00-12:00: Hi Nanaimo.
1:15-2:30: English 067
3:15-7:30 (?): clean church (my new temp job)
After that sometime, band practice. Argh! I don't know how that's going to work. We may have to have a little late practice, Grace and Spencer, if you read this. Anyways, I spent tonight with Melly and her family, had supper, and hung out in her room where we talked about random things. It's funny and awesome how we can talk about almost nothing in particular and have an awesome time. We had a moderately interesting conversation at the dinner table about crazy and depressed people, and the snow and stuff. It was good old Mel's family and random guests that I didn't know. I like Mel's family, they are nice and stuff. Her dad is excellent, and her step-mom is excellently friendly. We watched part of Michael, with John Travolta in it. I forgot what a good movie that was. Travolta was excellent in that as the Archangel Michael, who came to earth and was slovenly and womanizing. My favorite line of his is 'Battle!' whenever he gets into fights, eg, with a bull in a field, and with a bunch of drunks in a bar. What a crazy angel. Also, today, I was with Jon, Katie, and Jay, because they were going to Van to see Slipknot and I was driving the van back home from the ferry. And Jay was all excited about me being in a band. On Wednesday, I stole my amp from him and Jon so I could go to band practice, cause they were jamming with it. Apparently, when I left, Jay asked Jon 'did he take his amp because he's in a BAND?' And Jon told him I was, and he thinks that's awesome. He was all like, 'that's AWESOME!!' and 'I'm your biggest fan, I've never even heard you play!' Jay is an awesome guy. What a guy. He's my homeboy. Also, I'm STOKED about getting a show on the radio! I repeat, PLEASE! Local bands, calling all local bands, if you want your shat on the radio, send it to me by the bucket-full! Thanks in advance, if you send it to me, and bullocks to you in advance if you don't. Night! This is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Nanaimo Wah-Wah, coming soon!

2005-01-13T23:47:00.000-08:00

OH GOD! Why won't my comment count break 10?! I've got all kinds of posts with 9 comments, and it's driving me insane! I demand even double-digit numbers! Anyway. On to the main topic: My upcoming radio show on CHLY! That's right, you might be hearing yours truly on CHLY, 101.7 FM, I'm aiming for Saturday night at 7. So, any of you who have access to local bands, ask them if they wouldn't mind hooking me up with some demos I could play on the radio. Also, I'm helping the folks out there doing planning to do some promos for shows that don't have them. Also, if you haven't heard, Chasing Chester is back in order! Spencer found someone who had the "grace" to be our new drummer. Oh, pun! It is, of course, Grace Pickell, but I'm going to call her Fiona, because, well, I want to. She just has to learn our stuff, and we've begun writing a new song, it's pretty awesometastic. It's kind of creepy the number of things I have in common with her. Except that she doesn't sing, and likes cats, whereas I like dogs. And of course, she plays drums and I play guitar. But she likes alot of the same music as I do, and we're just generally alike in values and lifestyle. So, she's in my good book. And she doesn't mind my singing, :P. Bleh. Anyway, I've nothing more to say tonight. Really hoping to get some feedback on the radio show thing, and more than 9 comments! This is the Dark Horse, signing off!

Empty eyes, with no more tears to cry, turning heavenward, toward the light

2005-01-10T01:10:00.000-08:00

Prayer of the Children. A wonderful and beautiful piece. Also, I watched the Concert for George today, and the last song, I'll See You In My Dreams, just sets me in tears. A uke, bass and voice, and it's such a nice song, and then, what looks like millions of flower petals begins to fall from the ceiling of the Royal Albert Hall, down onto the audience and performers. It's just so beautiful, it makes me cry every time. Ringo and Paul sharing the same stage for the first time since the famous rooftop concert, Paul singing 'Something' with a ukulele, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Jeff Lyne, Ravi Shankar's inspired 'Arpan', Jools Holland singing 'Horse to the Water', with so much energy and life, Dhani Harrison, the quietest, playing the acoustic guitar whenever George's band was out, but never singing or playing the lead parts. A tribute to his father, the spitting image of 1964 George. As if George stayed young, and they all got old, Paul says. Everyone just seemed so happy. It was not a mourning, it was a celebration of his life. It was how George would have wanted it. What a night it must have been. If I had but one wish, it would be to meet George. To talk with him awhile, to learn what was inside that wondrous brain and soul. My only hope is that I can become something like him. What a privilege it must be to have known him. Music is such a powerful medium, something the other arts just can't do. For me, especially. I never cry watching movies. Only listening to music. I'm just a musical kind of guy, I guess. Well, that's it for me. I've gotta get up earlyish tomorrow. Goodnight, you all. Sleep tight, this is the Teary-Eyed Dark Horse, signing off.

blaggity blagg blagg.

2005-01-06T01:46:00.000-08:00

Thursday Jan 6, 1:30ish AM. I've got nothing better to do. No, really. I don't even want to go to bed. So I'm listening to Andrea Bocelli and blogging. All the love songs make me very lovesick. Whoever Holly Stell is, she has an amazing voice. And I just found out...she's 12. Freaking 12. Oh my god. Wow. Anyway, yeah. I still have that cold feeling. My heart is still waiting for the hand on my shoulder, the touch on my skin. Waiting for that love to flood back into my body, and fill me. The one that can 'warm the coldest feet, can cool me in the heat'. It seems so unlikely. And yet, the hope still stands fast in my mind and soul that sometime, someone will look back when I look at them. And we all know who I mean. It's a small, very small chance. I mean, what kind of chance does a guy like me stand with a girl like her? Slim to none, is the answer. It was a rhetorical question anyways, fools. Well, not that this isn't rhetoric. It's just me blabbering on, and there's little you can do to stop me. But, on that small chance she does, I'd shout it from the rooftops and probably embarrass her in front of anyone who was willing to listen. And if she doesn't, then I'll go without a fight. Minds can't be changed, they can only change themselves. I'll be the only casualty in a war that was never fought. And that's my two cents. Goodnight, this is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Um...12:30 on a Tuesday morning. Ish. 12:24 to be exact. Start time. Long title.

2005-01-04T00:52:00.000-08:00

Heh...Grooooooaaaaaaaannnn...I'm in lots and lots of pain...my head ache's gone, but my spine is a pillar of pain and achyness, and my right arm doesn't work because I strained it rock climbing tonight. And it's making me feel bad. Something Mel said last night made me realize how devastatingly unnattractive I think I am. Not her fault, at all. She didn't call me a festering wart on the face of humanity, or anything. I just made the assumption myself. I'd be feeling fine if I could know I was at least somewhat attractive. I may be less than superficial, but I'd still like to feel handsome. I just can't think of anything that I like about myself, physically. But, do you know who -is- insanely attractive? Andrea Bocelli! He's just got an amazingly handsome face, thick dark hair, dark Italian skin, amazing voice, and he's blind...Not that I'm gay, but I know a beautiful man when I see one. I wish I looked like Andrea Bocelli. Then, maybe I'd get some love. And sounded like him. Then, maybe I'd get some marriage proposals. And he's almost 50! Jeezus! I hope I look half that good when I'm fifty years old. 'Look so good you will not when 900 years old you reach!' Haha, oh, Yoda. You adorable little green munchin. Aaaaaaanyway. Other than my feeling ugly, and being in alot of pain, I'm feeling pretty good. Kind of. Saw Drew and Jenny randomly at the mall today, while going to get the X-men box set with Lisa to go watch it at her place, before Trevor called to get us to go Romper-Rooming with him. We watched X2, and had pizza, then went to the Romper Room. But not before I cut off my nails on my left hand. It would have been murder with them, sorry anyone who liked my long nails (Rose). It was fun, Andrea came too, and I saw Jessi's dad there, we thought he was Randy O'Donell, from Service!Plus, and earlier, we were bashing it within earshot of him, so once we realized he was there, and thought he was Randy, we were sure he was going to be upset or shoot us bad looks or something. But it was all good, cause he wasn't Randy, he was Jessi's dad. And we like Jessi's dad. But we were like 'Oh god, is it him...?! I recognize him, oh lord. We were just talking about him!' But it was okay. And apparently, Andrea's boyfriend was ignoring her the whole time we were there. So we were scheming to get him to not ignore her. It was funny. And that's about all I have to report. I apologize randomly for not paragraphing my blog entries. I'm just way too lazy. I was reading my old blog entries, and oh boy, was I a loser. Well, I still am, but at least now I'm working on my self confidence. Oh well. Hmmm...I could date this post at 1999, or even in the future, in 2006. Does that mean this wouldn't post until 2006? Or would it post anyway? Ooooooohhh, spooky...post-dated blog entries!!! Meh. This is the Erratic Dark Horse, signing off. Hail Antarctica!

Welcome to the Year 2005. Let's hope it's a good one.

2005-01-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

It is 3 minutes to 7 as I begin this post, and you're reading The KD King, that's 49.6 on your FM dial, or maybe it was 46.9? I can't remember, but it's a New Year, and that means...New Calendars!! Booyah...erm, and lots of alchohol. Of which I did not partake. Unless, by partake, I mean laugh at the drunk people. Which I did. Alot. Unfortunately, Her Highness Queen Assenav (Vanessa) did kinda spill some guts, and I felt bad for her. There was no laughing then. Just about everyone got rollicking drunk, even Dean Chadwick came and did a shot or two. Dill got pretty bad, and tried to get into the room where all the drinking people went into, and was calling for Shane alot. 'Shaaaaaaaane!...Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane!' That was Dill for a good five minutes straight. The only ones who weren't drinking were Rose, Lindsay (sp?), Barb, Llowyn, Rasmus (the Danish boy...Not Dutch...from Denmark...Not Dutch...land.) and me, I'm pretty sure. There was much fun to be had, and the details don't really matter. There was alot of dancing on tables tops and such. There was some stripping, and Devin, Shane and Josh were in their underwear and nothing more for quite awhile there. Sooner or later, the party settled down and we all went to bed...around 5:30 AM. Mel decided to sleep on me. Unfortunately, Mel snores. Loudly. Sorry, honey, but I just couldn't stand it. So I untangled myself and went upstairs. So, if you woke up when I left, sorry about that. If not, then now you know why I wasn't there when you woke up. So I went upstairs and found Dean, Darren (the Dame), his girlfriend, and Barbarabarabara's mom, the drunk adults, and Rose, the sober youth. Dean kept talking to the dog and called Rose a slut twice, and a tramp once. Darren's girlfriend had a lighter in the shape of a pig, and the flames came out its nostrils, and the fuel went in its butt. They were laughing uproariously because someone thought it should be the other way around. Then they called for a cab, and Dean, Darren and Colleen left, leaving Barb's mom, Rose and me upstairs. We talked to Barb's mom awhile, then Rose and I slunk off to sleep on a comfy chair and the floor beside said chair, respectively. Barb's mom then came in and grabbed some blankets and pillows, then after a little wriggling and juggling of arms, legs and body, I got comfortable and fell asleep. That was about 6:30ish this morning. I slept til about 11:00, when Shane came in and woke me up, still kind of drunk somehow. He pulled out this bottle of blue liquid that looked alot like Barbicide, the blue disinfectant you find in barber shops. Barbicide...sounds like something designed to kill Barbara...! By Jove! Barbershops around the world have an agenda against Barbara's!! Anyway, that's not important. It was syrupy, and I was all, 'Shane, please don't drink that...' He didn't, thankfully. Barb's mom made gigantic pancakes, and I ended up eating a whole pancake, even though there wasn't one made for me. I had a quarter of Shane's, a quarter of someone else's, and half of Shane's girlfriend Laura's. It was alot of fun. Overall, I give Barb's house parties and the cast and crew of Babes in the Wood an 11 out of 10, even if it was missing certain people, and had other certain people I could have done without. Anyway, that was my New Year's Eve! Oh yeah, and I actually saw Babes in the Wood this time! It was excellente! This is the Not Hung Over Dark Horse, signing off.

I am the King of Antarctica! Bow before me, and hear my proclamation, ye penguins!

2004-12-29T23:06:00.000-08:00

I need a big white robe to wear everywhere I go, for I am to become the King of Antarctica. I shall rule over the research stations and those cocky little penguins...stupid penguins...think they're too good to fly...with their little tuxedos...and their baggy pants and rap music. Penguins these days. Erm...yeah, we went prom dress shopping today. And by 'we' I mean Mel and I. For those of you that don't know, she's taking me to her prom! Woohoo! Second prom! I'm going to go look for a tux with those little tails on it, like great pianists wear all the time. And I shall be the Penguin King, and sovereign over all of Antarctica! I am not at liberty to divulge a description of her dress, because she wants it to be a surprise. But I -can- tell you it's gorgeous! In other news, the human death toll of the tsunami has apparently exceeds 80 000 lives. 'Bankrobber' brought up a very good point in his comment. I'm not saying that I agree, or disagree, with his opinion. However, we must wonder if, in fact, gods, goddesses and such come into effect in such disasters.. In my own humble opinion, this is no one's fault but our own. We have (excuse my language) fucked up our earth so much, and expect it not to react to our travesties. If we harm an animal, does it not answer to instinct? Fight or flight; and since the earth cannot fly, it must fight. We have upset the balance of our Earth, and it is taking its retribution. Mind you, I would rather it happened, say...off the coast of Maryland. Maybe then the people most responsible for this perpetual rape of nature would be affected a little more. I feel for all the people taken in this terrible catastrophe. I pray that they find more peace in the afterlife than they did in their death. But, since I don't want to end on such a morbid note, I'm listening to the Naramata CD right now! It's excellent, the choirs sound excellent! It brings back memories of Naramata 2004, and also, all previous Naramata's. What a wonderful time. It's a time and place I can just feel so incredibly and perfectly happy. Everything about it is fantastic. Everything there is just so perfect. Nothing can get me down at Naramata, and there aren't enough adjectives I can use to describe its magnificence! I can't wait until next year! Oh, what adventures shall await me! This is the Dark Horse Getting Way Ahead Of Himself, signing off!

Oh. My. God. I got a UKE!

2004-12-25T12:08:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas, everyone! I hope all your Christmas'es are going well. My dog has a little green headband with antlers on it, it's so cute. I'm so excited right now. I got a ukelele! It's so sweet. Also, for those of you that know what I'm talking about, I got a Line 6 Spider II 112! That's a very sweet guitar amp, for the rest of you. It's beautiful. Also, I got: A nice white Nehru dress shirt and a casual long-sleeved shirt from my Grandparents, as well as some new Cord pants, A couple of little books by the Dalai Lama, and The Buddha Book, as well as a Zen journal, from 'Santa', 6 cd's including American Idiot by Green Day, Andrea, by Andrea Bocelli, Beatles Tapes III, The 1964 World Tour, Rock Spectacle and Born On A Pirate Ship by The Barenaked Ladies, and There Will Be A Light by Ben Harper and the Blind Boys of Alabama, I got Shrek 2 and the Four Complete Historic Ed Sullivan Shows featuring the Beatles on DVD, a six pack of tickets to Mt Washington, gloves, a desktop organizer, the illustrated Yellow Submarine in book form, some soap, chocolate and candy, a guitar Christmas ornament, an awesome set of chopsticks with pictures of Japanese paintings of women in kimonos, a couple of pens, and a random pair of boxers. All in all, a pretty damn good Christmas. Mike got a new computer, and BNL's Barenaked for the Holidays, which promises to hold some entertainment, Jon got an acoustic bass, and everyone was satisfied. Obviously, they got alot more than that, but those were the most exciting/cool. I kind of feel bad for getting so much stuff, but I'm thankful for what I've got, and I think that's what is important about this day. If you go out today, be especially kind a giving, as well as forgiving. Give all your spare change to a homeless person or busker. Hold the door open for someone. Let someone go in front of you, even if they're a jerk about it. Have a very happy Christmas, all. This is the Festive Dark Horse, signing off.

In my expert opinion, based on years of medical training, I blame spontaneous pregnancy.

2004-12-21T14:29:00.000-08:00

I have nothing to talk about, really. But I'm sure I'll be able to write an entire page of nothing for you all...you'all...y'all. I discovered Martha's blog, after she added me to her msn. It's...uh...nice. Haha. So, Martha's cool, check out her blog, thissiteisnotavailable.blogspot.com. Expert stuff. We had a medium at CHLY today. As in, a person who channels energies and can be a link for spirits, and the like. It was interesting. It was kind of strange, and I think I maybe do believe in it, because after the show, one of the volunteers came up to me and said 'You're a skeptic.' It was a comment, not a question. I thought it was wierd, and she was right, I am. But it kind of put me on guard, as though I was sure the medium woman, Sheilha, was going to be reading my thoughts or something. Last time I met someone like that, Georgina Cyr, she was an animal communicator, as in, she talked to animals for a living. And she told me, right off the bat, that she sensed something good in me as I spoke at the Noetic Symposium this summer. It was a very strange feeling that I got as she talked to me, because I get very uncomfortable when people analyze me, and even more so when they're right, or it resounds with me. So, I think, perhaps I am starting to believe in it. Sheilha seemed rather excited to meet me, for some reason or another, after the show, she was talking about how she sensed me before I even came into the building. It was wierd stuff, but cool also. And if you haven't heard, yesterday, Suzie's guest didn't show up, so I got to be on the air with Suzie. It was pretty cool, we talked about the music scene in Nanaimo and the programs or music in the schools. Well, in the immortal words of Mike King, DJ and Executive Producer at CHLY, take care of yourself, and those around you, think about your impact on the world. This is the Psychic-Fearing Dark Horse, signing off.

Assorted Flavoured Miscreants, and talking to Bächleins

2004-12-16T20:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, there are no assorted flavoured miscreants. But I shall speak to a Bächlein (little brook). It has been determined that I am to sing four (4) pieces at the Upper Island Music Festival. These include: The Daisies by Samuel Barber, Der Neugierige by Franz Shubert, I Talk To The Trees from the musical Paint Your Wagon, and Non Posso Vivere by Giacomo Carissimi. 'Der Neugierige', German for 'The Inquisitive One' is my favorite of them. And because I've nothing better to do, I will post the lyrics and English translation to it here. Keep in mind that the translation is loose, and meant to be sung to the same tune, and thus is not exact, for all you German-speakers out there.

Der Neugierige, The Inquisitive One

By Franz Schubert

Original German:

Ich frage keine Blume,

Ich frage keinen Stern,

Sie können mir alle nicht sagen,

Was ich erführ' so gern.

Ich bin ja auch kein Gärtner,

die Sterne steh'n zu hoch,

Mein Bächlein will ich fragen,

Ob mich mein Herz belog

O Bächlein, meiner Leibe,

Wie bist heut' so stumm,

Will ja nur Eines wissen,

Ein Wörtchen um und um,

Ein Wörtchen um und um.

"Ja", heisst das eine Wörtchen,

Das and're heisset "Nein,"

Die beiden Wörtchen schliessen die ganze Welt mir ein,

Die beiden Wörtchen schliessen die ganze Welt mir ein.

O Bächlein, meiner Liebe,

Was bist du wunderlich!

Will's ja nicht weiter sagen,

Sag', Bächlein, leibt sie mich,

Sag', Bächlein, leibt sie mich?

English Translation:

I shall not ask a flower,

I shall not ask a star,

For neither of them can tell me

What I so long to hear.

Indeed, I am no gardener,

The stars, they stand too high,

But I will ask my brooklet,

If my heart does belie

O brooklet, my beloved,

How mute you are today!

But one thing I would ask you:

Which small word will she say?

"Yes," that's the one I hope for,

The other one is "no"

Between these words lies all hope of joy for me below

O brooklet, my beloved,

How strange you are today!

I shall not breathe it further,

Speak, brooklet, does she love me?

And there you have it, Der Neugierige, The Inquisitive One, by Franz Schubert. I like it alot. It has a good melody, and I like the lyrics. It is from Die schöne Müllerin, The Handsome Miller, a story about a young miller who goes out wandering, and befriends and follows a brook to a mill, where he falls in love with the Master's daughter. He sings of his desperate love for her, and all the things he would do to gain her hand. She finally comes to him, but he is soon jilted in favour of a hunter. He is overcome by his grief and throws himself into the brook that he befriended in the beginning, and drowns. It's probably not the most original story around, but it's Schubert, it probably originated with him. Also, in current events, I'm in the Brechin United Youth Group's Christmas play, The Case of the Missing Christmas Spirit, or, its unofficial title, Christmas Spirit Investigation (CSI). I'm playing the part of the detective. Rose is Betty the detective's secretary, and Mike is James, the client who can't find his Christmas spirit. Jayde, Jordan, Brittany and Carmen are also participating, and Derek is going to be my inner voice. It ought to be good fun. Also, tomorrow night, I think, holy crap it's tomorrow?! Ack, Brianna's party is tomorrow, if I'm not mistaken! I need to write my Christmas songs for people! That's what I'm doing for lack of money for presents, I'm writing short, crappy songs for everyone I feel I'm close enough to (and have enough time to write for). So, if you don't get a song, I either don't like you, or didn't have enough time. I'm sure you can figure out which, muhahaha! Anyway, that's about it. Something happened somewhere in the world, At least one person died for no reason, and at least one person is feeling pretty bad about that. This is Der Neugierige, The Dark Horse, signing off.

Ok, you're not serial rapists. Do you love somebody? Then hold that one.

2004-12-12T00:46:00.000-08:00

But 'Laura' is a tall, gross drug-dealing serial killing monk who talks loudly at the movies. But, she is sensitive... (Not Laura Buzzard, by the way, haha) We played the Romance Game at Brianna's, it was hilarious. Two of my dates broke up with me, including the one who was honest, liked dogs and cats, and bought me a puppy. I was left with Laura the *PSYCHO*. It was great. Gareth had a D&D/Magic playing Australian who listened to disco. Also, as soon as I have a job, I'm saving up for an Xbox. Seriously, all the best games are for the Xbox. In other news, I heard this great song on CHLY the other day, and I love it. It's called 'What I Be'. It's kind of R&B. In the real news, more people died needlessly. I went to Brianna's on Friday and played Fable with Glenn, Gareth and Brianna. Glenn's and my character is so much hotter than Brianna's. Hers is old and his face is covered in scars, it's really gross. Haha, Brianna will beat me for saying that. Oh well. Life is all in all pretty good around here. Except that I'm way behind in my English. I'm going to have to get it all done tomorrow. ERGH...So, hopefully Llowyn will be coming this week...right, Llowyn? I'm so very frightfully lonely. I mean that in many ways. I only need a job to make me free, and I only want love to make me happy. I couldn't imagine being alone all my life. Because, you see, my readers, I am a hopeless romantic. I believe that the single greatest thing in life is loving one person with all your heart, and being willing to risk, or even give your life for her (or him, if you're of that other gender/sexuality). I don't know if I'll ever find that person in this life, but I hope that I do. Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I like it that way. Without dreams, what is reality? Dreams and hopes are the silver lining of life. In their absence, life is but a grey mass. My life, in reality, isn't really going all that well right now. I have very little of anything. But what I do have in abundance is hope, and my dreams. I'm confident that I will get a job, sooner or later, and that someday, in some life, I will find the one soul I've been looking for. It's just a matter of perception. The silver lining. Anyway, that's enough of that. What I Be is tired, so this is the Psycho, but Sensitive Dark Horse, signing off.

Black Spot Sneakers! And Einstiened Elbert.

2004-12-07T23:03:00.000-08:00

THEY CAME! My sneakers came today! They fit perfectly, and they look awesome! I wasn't feeling so good today, so I stayed home. I got up at 9:30, and so wouldn't have made it to CHLY in time for Suzie's show. I feel really bad about it. Amanda and I played Wheel of Fortune, and she guessed Einstiened Elbert for one thing, it was actually Efficiency Expert or something. It was funny. Also, Jon bought Lord of The Rings - The Third Age. It's about a random Captain from Gondor who is searching for Boromir, but becomes entangled in the War of the Rings after Boromir dies. It's a turn-based RPG, unlike any of the other LotR games. It's pretty well done, I'm impressed. Other characters include a sword-wielding female elf, a dwarf, a ranger, a Rohan rider, and a shieldmaiden of Rohan. Pretty cool. The dwarf and the ranger look way too much like Gimli and Aragorn, but the characters are alot different, and they stress that alot to keep the distinctions clear between the fellowship and your party. Pretty fun. Anyway, uh, what else is new? Haha, I have no life. Oh well. I wrote Mel's christmas song. It's funny. They'll all be humourous, I promise. Welp, that's it for my day. PS: Please, call me and ask me to do things with you. I'm so bored! This is the Blackspot Anticorporation Shareholding Dark Horse, signing off.

You suck at the internet.

2004-12-04T01:22:00.000-08:00

I just found a sheet of paper with that written on it in bubble letters. I think Chris gave it to me. I can't remember why. Speaking of Chris, we were going through our old music from Six Piece Puzzle (which won't be our name, by the way), and the lyrics really suck. The music is pretty good, but the lyrics are the cheesiest crap I've ever read. So cheesy, in fact, my throat got clogged just from reading them. Fortunately for my self-esteem, she wrote most of the lyrics. I guess that's what happens. Just the times, I guess. I saw Bye Bye Birdie tonight at Dover Bay School. It was excellent, though I couldn't see half of it because of our crappy seats. Oh well. I enjoyed it anyway. I feel...not bad, but...not good, either. Somewhere in the middle. I've got nothing to be happy about, but nothing to make me feel down. Thrifty's didn't give me a job. It's nearly impossible in this town. And now, because I have nothing more to say, and I'm feeling kind of bad, the entire lyrics to the song 'Life in a Nutshell' by BNL.

When she was three
Her barbies always did it on the first date
Now she’s with me,
There’s never any need for them to demonstrate
She’s like a baby, I’m like a cat;
When we are happy, we both get fat and still
It’s never enough, it’s never enough,
It’s never enough

Chorus:

But I don’t tend to worry about the things that other people say,
And I’m learning that I wouldn’t want it any other way
Call me crazy, but it really doesn’t matter
All that matters to me is she
Her life, in a nutshell
No way would she want it to change me
It’s not that easy ’cause
My time is often decided for me
For me

She memorized every pencil crayon colour in the box
Her blue-green eyes complement the burn sienna in her locks
She’s at the movies, I’m on the phone;
When we’re separated, we’re never alone, but still
It’s never enough, it’s never enough,
No it’s never enough

Chorus

I fell down
With no one there to catch me from falling
Then she came ’round
And only her tenderness stopped me from bawling my eyes out
I’m ok
And that’s why
Her life, in a nutshell ...

I love that song. Oh, and speaking of Barenaked Ladies, this is the Lovesick Jerk Dark Horse, signing off.

P.S. There are two BNL references in that sentence.

This isn't high school...Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOOBUS! and Mouthcats.

2004-12-01T00:14:00.000-08:00

My favourite line from Brand New's "Last Chance To Lose Your Keys' - This isn't high school. Muhaha. I feel especially conscious of the fact that I'm graduated from high school. I went to pick up my brother from choir, and everyone seemed so young. Probably because...there's like ten new grade 8's in the choir. I can't help feel like they're all different from me now. I realize I'm the one who has changed, but it seems like everyone else is so much less mature than they used to be, simply because I've grown up alot since graduation. Of course, some people will dispute this. But frankly, I don't care what they think. They obviously don't know me. I've found a new frame of mind, and nothing anyone says is going to change it. I'm finally happy with who I am. I'm proud of myself. I don't have much to be proud of, but I milk my life for all it's worth. I'm happy. Do any of you know how long it's been since I've been this happy? Probably not. Well, there is a week in August when I'm this happy, no matter what year. I'll give you a hint, I'm wearing the shirt right now. It's orange and has a labyrinth on it. It's fun. AAAAAAaaaanyways. Tonight, I went to the choir concert, and guess who I saw there?! DC! I couldn't believe it. It was awesome. Also, Sarah was in the chamber choir and sang quite nicely. Mel will know who I'm talking about. It was cool. I'm going to the band night tomorrow because no one else can, so I get to hear Jon play, and DC Eric's in the same band. This morning (I mean the 30th, because this post will probably get posted on the 1st, knowing how long I take to post) at CHLY, Suzie had NDP candidate Leonard Krog (that's pronounced Crow, don't ask me why) and it was interesting. I like how in BC politics, the best tactic is to bash the Liberals, instead of campaigning for your own party. And when I say I like, that means I don't, or think it's handicapped. Mentally. In bed...iiiin the pants...er, bah, jeh, vah, cack! And please, people, it's not retarded. It's mentally handicapped. For example: 'Dude, that's so retarded.' EEEHHH! Wrong! Now, correctly: 'Dude, that's so mentally handicapped.' That's better, Billy. Now back in the box! *ZAP!* Erm...heh, excuse us. As I was saying....what was I saying? Oh well. I have a mouthcat. It lives in my mouth. I make it speak. It can hiss, and meow. And if you don't believe me, I can prove it. Katie has a mouthrat. Carmen has a mouthcat, too. Monkey is mentally handicapped, and has no mouthpet. And you say I'm immature! Pffft. Right, well, that was my day. Also, alot of driving around. Alot. Other faces I recognized at Malaspina: Erin, the tenor from the Mozart Mania concert, Long-Haired guy I don't know, but has really awesome long dirty blonde hair that is awesome, Tyler Fitzgerald aka the first Jesus, Steve Jones. And that is my post. I'd like to thank Tuesday, November 30th for occuring, mom, dad, and everyone else who helped in making this post possible. If I didn't mention you, I'm either lazy or hate you. Guess which! This is the Cat-Mouthed Dark Horse, signing off.

Free Windows games and philosophy.

2004-11-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

I wrote this last night, but stupid blogger timed out and I lost it all. By the way, I was just trying to be humourous about Nic, not sarcastic. I love that fish. Obviously, some people don't appreciate my brand of humour. I suppose I don't blame them, really. Anyway, onto the topic of the evening: FreeCell and Solitaire, and how they relate to the MEANING OF LIFE! *Fish perk up* But first, I must relate this flyer I got from a random psycho-Christian *fish sigh and move off*; 'Preach the Gospel...' Were his words, I believe.
"I have heard you preach three times, sir, and I neither care for you nor your preaching, unless you can tell me why God permit's (note the grammatical error, it's in the flyer, it's not a typo of mine) sin," said a young man to Mr. North. "I will do that with pleasure," was the immediate reply, "Because He chose to do so."
The young man apparently taken by surprise, stood speechless; and Mr. North again replied, "Because He chose to allow it, and," he added, "if you continue to question and argue with God's dealings, and vainly puffed up by your carnal mind, strive to be wise above what is written, I will tell you something more that God will do, - He will some day put you into hell-fire...you cannot resist Him; and neither you opinion of His dealings, nor your blasphemous expression of them, will in the least lessen the pain of your everlasting damnation..."
Now tell me, is that, or is that not, ridiculous? All it needs is some multiple exclamation marks, and some flailing of arms and crosses, and it'll be perfect conversional material. Seriously, they threaten people with eternal damnation just to get them to convert. It's like the medieval church or something. 'No, no, no, you don't put those rubber things on, if you use them, you'll go straight to hell.'
And now, the meaning of life *fish again perk up*. Which, coincidentally, I got the DVD of from Alex. It rocks. Anyway, I was playing free windows games and I realized something. There are two kinds of people in the world; people who prefer Solitaire, and those who prefer FreeCell. Those who play Hearts and Minesweeper are...not of this world. Solitaire is basically luck of the draw. If you get a bad deal, it's impossible to win. If you get a good deal and are good enough, you can win. FreeCell is different. Apparently, in theory, every game of FreeCell is winnable. Some are harder than others, but it's possible to win them all. Much like the outlooks of people. Some people believe that, like in Solitaire, some deals can't be won, and depend on fate to give them a good hand. They often end up blaming everyone but themselves for their mistakes and misfortunes. FreeCell players prefer to think that they are in control of their own lives, and that every situation is winnable. They have only themselves to blame, and only themselves to depend on to make their own life to work the way they want. So, on one hand, you can believe in fate, and hope that it will treat you kindly, or you can believe in yourself, and make your own life happen. Personally, I've begun to prefer FreeCell over Solitaire, even though I'd been a solid player of Solitaire for awhile there. I've found that I like being in control of how I feel and who I am. But that's just me. Which free Windows game do you prefer? This is the Entirely Cell-Free Dark Horse, signing off.

Bitte, Bitte, gib mir Gift!

2004-11-23T17:20:00.000-08:00

I guess I have no one to blame but myself, but they have no idea how downtrodding it is to be turned down absolutely everywhere you go. I'd be able to handle it better if I could get a job, even if I got fired in the first week, at least I could figure out what makes me a poor employee. But no one will even give me a chance to fuck up. And to make matters worse, my parents have to bug me and yell at me and guilt me even further into the ground. A day ago, everything was fine, Chris was over, we were hanging out, it was all good. Then today I get home, dad comes and starts yelling at me when he finds I haven't been job hunting. I go to my room, and he follows me, yelling all the way about why I don't have a job and how I won't let them help me. This is something I want to do on my own. I've taken help from him, I've checked out the job posts he's given me. But it's never enough. Then he yells at me for closing my door. For god's sake, give it a rest, man. I wish I had a -lock- on that door. Stupid. Fuck fuck bitch angst. This is the Bloody Mad Dark Horse, signing off.

Chicks speaking Russian is hot. And I'm 18. I got a wedgie for my birthday.

2004-11-18T11:04:00.000-08:00

There is a song on Rammstein's new album, Reise, Reise, Moskau (yes, that is spelled correctly), in which a girl sings in Russian. It's hot. If you haven't figured it out yet, I got the new Rammstein for my birthday. I also got SoaD - Toxicity, and BNL - Maybe You Should Drive. And a wedgie. No, not the underwear kind. Actually, a little rubber thingy you put on your guitar to put your picks on. It'll be useful, I'm sure. I got a new discman, unfortunately, there are no working AA batteries in my house. I got a glass slide for my guitar, I'm going to try to write a song using the slide. I got some sweet greenish brown cordereuy pantaloons. They fit, too. Grandparents just somehow know your size, exactly. They don't even live near us. I don't know how they do it, maybe they're just robots. So now I'm 18. Woohoo. I don't feel any different. Like I told my brother on his 20th birthday, this past 7th of November, 'congratulations, you're one year closer to being dead!' I'm not being morbid, it's just my kind of humour. It appeals to me. It doesn't hold anything back, just how I'd like to be. I'd like to have the confidence to just tell people what I want to say. Of course, I'd probably turn into an asshole if I told people what I -really- think. It'd be like 'And then I-' "I don't care enough to continue listening to you. Do something entertaining." I'd be like Aram from Men In Hats! This is the Two-Hundred-Sixteen Month Old Dark Horse, signing off.

Countdown to my birthday: 4 days.

2004-11-15T00:30:00.000-08:00

That's right, in only 4 days, I will be 18. Finally. Then I can do all the things that being 18 lets me do. I'm not quite sure what. I guess, vote, and sign up for things. Like hotornot.com, I don't know. *sigh* and yes, buy porn. And no, Gareth, I will not buy porn for you. You can wait til you're 18. Until then, I'm sure there are websites you can go to...anyway! My shoes still haven't come. I bought a pair of the Blackspot sneakers online, and they haven't arrived yet. It's been, like, two months. They're really sweet. They're knock-offs of the Converse Chuck Taylors that seem to be the stereotypical punker shoes, but they did something different: They made them in a union factory in Portugal, with workers getting 8 to 6 hours at roughly 35% above minimum wage, 25 paid days off, and two extra months of pay per year, an hour and a half lunch break...basically, these people are well off. The shoes are made completely 'vegetarian', meaning they're completely animal friendly. If you want to check it out, go to blackspotsneaker.org, and find out all about it. My day was completely uneventful. That's it. Goodnight. Go away. Stop reading now. There's nothing more. Believe me, if you expecting this to be very long, you're about to be sadly disappointed. Really, it's over. Go home. I'm done. No more, nada, zilch. Goodbye. This is the Slowly Dying Dark Horse, signing off.

Don't forget to remember.

2004-11-11T01:05:00.000-08:00

It is November 11, 1918. The last man that will ever die in The Great War, a Canadian, Private George Lawrence Price, is shot by a sniper in the right breast at 3 minutes to 11:00, the time appointed for the cease fire. One minute later, he dies. Two minutes later, The Great War ends. The War to End All Wars. Fast forward 21 years. 1939, Adolf Hitler begins in earnest his rampage across Europe. By June, 1940, all of Europe is under Nazi influence. Millions die in combat or as a result of illness, or injury, and at the hands of barbaric and inhuman practices in Nazi death camps. In Normandy on June 6, 1944, D-Day, when thousands more lives were lost, and only the beginning. Over 55 million died in that war. We also remember Korea, Vietnam, The Gulf Wars, numerous UN actions around the world where thousands of people died every day. Today, we remember those that died so that we may live in relative peace, at least for awhile. We pray for those who are in the wrong place for the wrong reason, but still fight for their lives every day, and for those on the other side, who are desperately fighting to keep their homes and their lives in Iraq. We pray that this conflict will soon come to an end and that those responsible for this needless bloodshed are brought to justice, so a blunder like this can never occur again. I realize the foolishness of such a notion, but we must hope that someday war will come to an end, and all men can live as equals in each others' eyes. We must never forget, and I urge you to take a moment at 11:00 today to remember what has happened over the years, all the people who have died, for a cause that was right or wrong, but always good in their mind. I will leave you with the poem by John McCrae.
In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

This is the Remembering Dark Horse, signing off.

Wheh Is Mah Supah Suit!?

2004-11-09T00:23:00.000-08:00

So what if I'm an asshole? I like who I am, even if everyone else doesn't. I really wish there was somewhere I could go to meet new people. I'm stagnating in my room here, I need a life, a job, something. Please. On a lighter note, I'm 18 in 10 days! Also, I saw The Incredibles with Mel tonight. It was the best movie I've seen in awhile. 'Wheh's mah supah-suit?!' Great movie, I recommend it. Anyway, nothing new to report, really. Life is generally pretty boring. The punk show at the PV hall was pretty sweet. There was a bit of a mix up, I'm not sure exactly what happened, but apparently, the first band played, then decided there weren't enough people, and left. The other bands got mad because they were just screwing over everyone, so everyone pitched in and came up with 100$ to rent the hall so the other bands could play, and a keg was brought out, and a good time was had by all. That's about it. Still loveless, jobless, etc. This is the Incredible Dark Horse, signing off.

We now return to your regularly scheduled boring existance.

2004-11-01T18:57:00.000-08:00

Gondoliers is over. So abruptly these things seem to end. Everything is happening, then there's a party, and before you know it, they're all gone and you have no idea when you'll see them again. I miss it all. I'll miss the people that I met. I'll miss especially Noni, Sandy and Biff, the McLeod's, Joel, DC, Sophie, Arlene, and probably most of all, Janessa. Don't take that in the wrong way, now. In the show, she was my wife, so I spent alot of time with her, getting to know her and such. A wonderful and wacky personality, and alot of fun to work with. She's getting her braces off tomorrow. Hooray for Janessa!
Anyways, now that it's over, I've really no idea what to do with myself. Look for a job, I suppose. Too bad, I really wish it wasn't over. Oh well, I have Halloween candy. I wote half a page about the things in this world that I hate in English 067 today.
A manic depressant society, false god of the name human being, happiness in a pill, sheep to the slaughter to the beating of the war drum. Instant pleasure, self-gratification, capitalism and conformity under the name of rebellion, individuality a rare and valueless commodity in a world where no one wants to be unique. Death and destruction the object of obliviously enforced worship, glorification of war and killing, puppets waging false wars on innocent peoples. Religious fanatics killing in the name of a misinterpreted deity, falsehood and diversion the norm, a society where culture tells us to not care, people don't give a fuck about anything but the drama that fills their lives lives in a sick attempt to mindfuck us into submission until our skulls are empty and charred from the mental bombardment we recieve on a minutely basis from our impotent, omnipotent herders.
This is the ___? Dark Horse, signing off.

Must...Blog...

2004-10-30T02:35:00.000-07:00

I'd better do something before they forget I exist. 'So now you all have cancer.' 'You still exist?' So, here I am on a Saturday morning at 2:08 AM with one shoe that doesn't belong to me, two solitaire wins under my belt this evening, and very heavy eyelids. I haven't updated in awhile because...well, I don't care about you all enough. You can wait. I have more important things to do *stereotypical actor brush-away motion*. The Gondoliers is still running for another couple days, Saturday (tonight) at 7:30 and Sunday afternoon at 2:00 PM. Tickets are 26$, but please come, we'd love to have a big audience. And do laugh at the jokes. It's a great show, really it is. Awesome talent, great people. Really, a wonderful show. I'm going to miss it when it's gone. I'll miss the people. Biff and Sandy, Kelly, Janessa, Will, Noni, Morgan and Kelly, Joel and Sarah, Laura, Karrie, Sophie, Chalium, Arlene, Jon, Ali, Bruce, even Eric. A thank you to all the hard working crew behind the show, Lorna, for doing all the wonderful costumes, Jayme and Arla for helping us keep them neat, tidy and pinned, Joan and Stephanie for keeping our props in working order Tim, for helping with the set changes, Arlene, our director, for making this all possible, Georgina, our God (Stage Manager), Tricia and Sophie, our ASM's, Chalium for never giving us a break when it came to our music and his father, Bill Poppy, for doing our make-up, Kelly for choreographing all the dances, Devon for being the GREATEST PIANO PLAYER EVER! Roger for designing and building the set, and Michael for Lighting Design. Also, to all the cast members I haven't really had a chance to become friends with, you're all great, and a big thanks to the orchestra, although I know only a couple, they have been wonderful.
Well, that's my big long thank you to everyone in the Gondoliers. Not really alot else going on in my life at all right now, Gondoliers is pretty much my life. And it all ends tomorrow night...how sad! I might just cry. It made me actually happy to be doing something great like that. And now that it's ending...And I'm sorry, everyone who is expecting me at Jessi's on halloween, I'm going to be going to the cast party, because it's likely the last time I'm going to see alot of these people. Sorry lots. Anyways. My birfday is in like, 20 days. Woohoo, finally 18! I'm excited. But don't expect me to bum pron for you perverts. Well, I'm really freaking tired. This is the Gay and Gallant Dark Horse, signing off. And no, not gay as in homosexual. Gay as in happy, and don't tell me you weren't thinking it, you crackheads.

Death as a state is the opposite of life; death as an event is the opposite of birth.

2004-10-17T22:06:00.000-07:00

A very strange sentence to be sure, but it's the dictionary definition of the word death. Nelle seemed to disagree saying that death is not in fact a state of being. I think she was confused as to the grammar of the situation. No, Janelle, you can't be death, unless, of course, you are Death himself, obviously, but you can be dead, just as you can be alive but not Life. But death is the opposite of life. Just as life is a state of being, so death is. Death is simply the abscence of life, as darkness is the abscence of light.
Isn't it funny that when we're alone, we get upset and act like no one loves us, when people do in fact love us, just not the ones we want to love us? I'll admit that I'm guilty of it. We get mad when things don't go the way we would like them to. And instead of trying to fix the problem, we just bitch about it and fall deeper into despair when people get tired of your whining and tell you to get a life. I must say that is very annoying and like trodding dirt into mud. Then you just hit a wall, where you can't go any further. Some break through that wall with the sheer force of their depression and hit the metaphorical rock bottom. Others climb back out and get on with their lives.
I haven't really got alot else to say. It seems like it's all been said before. In other news, I had a different post all lined up for you, but it got deleted. Since I've got all the time in the world, I might as well try to recount what all I wrote. It was based on a conversation I had with Lisa a few nights back on, of all things, sex. Oh my, talking about sex? Oh dear. I recalled my experience with sex, how everything changes after it. They say that any man who says he doesn't miss sex is a liar. But that's a fiction. I don't really miss sex. I miss kissing. I miss love. Not sex. I don't want sex again for quite some time yet. Too much uncertainty associated with the whole thing. I can't remember the last time I did it for the right reason. When the relationship goes sour, sex becomes an escape from all that's wrong with it. But then it gets to the point when you feel guilty because you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. When the love is gone, it's hollow. There's nothing in it without the love. Hollow pleasure. It tears you apart. This is the Something Something Whatever Dark Horse, signing off. Here, catch this match with your face. Thank you, www.meninhats.com.

Dolce far niente, except without the pleasantry.

2004-10-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

I don't speak Italian, what you expect? Ever notice how except and expect are the same word with the p and c reversed? Yup. State the obvious, why don'cha. Needless to say, I'm feeling alot better. Though I still think you're all assholes. Except (there's that word again) a select few, who have a) not done anything to piss me off lately, b) are generally cool, and c) actually cared about my feelings, and didn't try to deprecate my self-deprecation. To you few, a thank you is due. Of course, most of my negative feelings aren't towards any personage or group, but simply towards the world as a whole. And no, I'm not emo. And if you even think about calling me that...word, I know where you live, and have access to weapons of mass destruction. And don't think I won't. Anyway, I'm sittin' here, on a Friday night at 11:41, having done nothing tonight. Thus, the dolce far niente, 'pleasant inactivity', except not pleasant. Now I want to stop using the words except and expect. Also, MSN is shut down for some maintenance crap, so I'm stuck without even the possibility of talking to people without having to pick up the phone and bother someone or other who may or may not even be home, or perhaps doesn't want to talk to me, or is busy, etc etc. Too much trouble, so I'll sit here and listen to Ben Harper and ponder over the lyrics to A Negative Reaction. ANR is Chasing Chester's first original song, music by Chasing Chester, lyrics by Drew May and Geoff Moddle (I changed some things and added another 1/2 a verse, thanks go to Drew for writing the bulk of it.) For those of you who haven't heard, Drew is no longer a part of Chasing Chester, but he will be involved in the band regularly, we're not sure how yet, probably as lead techie and lead guy-we-steal-poems-from-and-turn-them-into-lyrics-for-our-songs. ;P Expect to see Chasing Chester at the Dover Talent Show on October 15th. Also, I've adopted a Scotty and a Ninja fetus. Hooray Fetus! indeed. So...come to the show...for the fetuses..fetusi...feet...feti...The Scotty fetus and the Ninja fetus. Because they are cute. And they are both...a fetus. Fetus is one of those words that loses all cognizant meaning after you say it a few times. This is the Fetish (As is Fetus) Dark Horse, signing off.

I adopted a cute lil' Scotty fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

I adopted a cute lil' ninja fetus from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

I thirst for your yummy monkey meats!

2004-10-03T23:31:00.000-07:00

God-fuck, shit it all. I don't even care anymore. Everything can just go to hell. I don't care what you all think of me. I'm just really pissed off, because nothing ever works out for me. Seriously, I asked Alleah to list all of my accomplishments in the past six months. Other than getting my N - after three tries, I might add - she could think of nothing else. Instead, she made the argument that I haven't tried. Haven't tried? Haven't made the fucking effort?! Are you fucking blind? Goddammit! Just because I've got the least luck out of all my friends, I haven't made the effort? You people don't even have to make a fuckin' effort. Things just fucking come together for you, don't they? See, the difference between me and all you is, I have nothing to offer. I'm just a fucking nothing. A nobody with no endearing qualities whatsoever. You know what? I don't even want a girlfriend anymore. I would say fuck the job search too, but I can't really do that, now, can I. Fuck your life, fuck your love. Angst, angst, angst, fuckers. Now go away while I be Emo. This is the Pissed-off Dark Horse, signing off.

Blog time, because there's nothing else to do.

2004-10-02T00:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I'm sorry, it's true. You're nothing more than a diversion. I wish I could just write anything I wanted to, but people's feelings would get hurt and too much would be revealed which I wish not to reveal at the time. But I'll tell you some things. Such as the Great Big Sea concert! It was so fun, Great Big Sea, the best thing to come out of Newfoundland since...er...Newfies..came to BC, to Nanaimo, the first stop on their cross-Canada Beautiful tour! So it was awesome. They had us jumping around and clapping. There were a couple opening acts, including one of the Rankin brothers, the other being some guy who was good, but whose name I didn't catch. Patrick something? 17 years old. Can you believe that! I should be on that freaking stage opening for Great Big Sea! Rutebega Rutebega, Asparagus...*does the asparagus motion* I don't know what else to tell you. I think I'm in love. But I can't say with whom, because she reads my blog. Narrows it down a bit, eh? Not many who read my blog...but knowing me, I'm an open book, just waiting to be read. You'll probably just know even though I've given no hint whatsoever, because I'm just that transparent. Anywho. Went to Mel's tonight, hung out with her, Gareth, and Brianna. Laura and Tim were supposed to come too, but we assume they were just making out like mad fools. Or perhaps they did come...oooooohhhhh! Stole ya. Oh, bad. I don't know what to do with myself lately. I just want to go up to her and tell her how I feel, then I want to give it time, I just don't know what to do. Not that it'll matter, anyway. With my luck, I'll just get rejected. But I can hope, can't I? Anyways, this is the Pining Dark Horse, signing off.

Hooray for human interaction!

2004-09-29T01:27:00.000-07:00

This week has been comparably eventful. Party on Sunday, hanging out with Mel on Saturday, Monday and tonight (or last night, as it may be, since it is after midnight), and roller-blading with Tasha because she is cool. It was alot of fun. I haven't roller-bladed in a long time, I had to steal my dad's blades. They were squeaky, which I'm sure isn't a good thing. Had a nice conversation with Tasha. A little catching up, and a little planning for the future, such as 'accosting' Alex and/or Erin, no matter what/who they're doing, and making them go places with us. Like Mt. Washington. Then we whined collectively about being too cool for boy/girlfriends, and being in the sexy green N club, except Alex isn't allowed because he's attached. I don't know if Erin is allowed or not, and why. Meh! I'm just happy to have my sexy green N. I got to drive to Lantzville to hang out with Mel. I got a little lost, sheeheehee. I overshot Dover St by like, two blocks. I missed the turnoff, and went all the way around, but eventually found my way back. It was fun, anyway. Driving rocks. W007. Anyway, that's enough for tonight. Thanks for hanging out with me, Tasha and Mel. This is the Light Dark Horse, signing off.

Ben Harper's got da touch.

2004-09-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

Picture Of Jesus
Ben Harper

It hangs above my altar
Like they hung him from a cross
I keep one in my wallet
For the times I feel lost
I feel lost
In a wooden frame with splinters
Where my family kneels to pray
And if you listen close
You'll hear the words he used to say

I've got a picture of Jesus
In his arms so many prayers rest
We've got a picture of Jesus
And with him we shall be forever blessed
Forever blessed
Forever blessed

Now it has been spoken
He would come again
But would we recognize
This king among men
There was a man in our time
His words shine bright like the sun
He tried to lift the masses
And was crucified by gun

He was a picture of Jesus
With him so many prayers rest
He is a picture of Jesus
In his arms so many prayers
So many prayers
So many prayers rest
With him we shall be forever blessed
Forever blessed
Forever blessed

Some days have no beginning
And some days have no end
Some roads are straight and narrow
And some roads only bend
So let us say a prayer
For every living thing
Walking towards a light
From the cross of a king

We long to be a picture of Jesus
Of Jesus
In his arms - In his arms so many prayers rest
I long to be a picture of Jesus
With him we shall be forever blessed
With him we shall
With him we shall be forever blessed
Oh- I long
I've got a picture of Jesus
Mmhh

I looooooove that song. Jon introduced me to Ben Harper when he put it in the stereo while we at lunch. Ben Harper's awesome. Also, I GOT MY N! BOOYAH! Goodbye, atrocious, horrible red L sign, hellloooo sexy green N!! Soo stoked, baby. Anybody wanna ride? Anyone at all? Anywhere?

Lifeless Shut-In.

2004-09-26T16:20:00.000-07:00

haha, I have used said phrase. Take -that-, biatch. Alleah threatened to steal the phrase 'lifeless shut-in' from me, even though I'm sure I didn't make it up to begin with. Meh. Well, that's what I am. I have no life. I shall be grateful for the party. Maybe they're right. Maybe I am wasting my time. But there's still the voice in my heart that tells me that if I want anything good in this world, I'm going to have to work for it. It's not just going to fall in my lap. Let's face it people, we need to grow up, and get our collective asses off the couch. And I'm not just talking about us young people. I'm talking about humanity. But that's another story. Specifically, I mean you people who think that everything is just going to fall in place for you, because you're special and you have talents or smarts or whatever you have. It's not easy. Our problem is we don't care enough. Sure, you've got problems, you're a teenager. So does every other person between the ages of 14 and 18. I don't mean to be callous, but, come on people. We're not getting any younger, and neither is the earth. Sooner or later, we're going to have to stick up for it. Earth can't defend itself against human stupidity and greed. Humanity will realize only too late that all things are connected, as we are to Earth's fate. Wow, talk about a tangent. But damn straight. Wake up, and smell the napalm. We're on a crash course with doom, and today's teenagers are the one's who are going to have to answer for it. Oh well. It's our funeral. This is the Prophetic Dark Horse, signing off. Oh, and my new e-nail address is Frassasasquatch@hotmail.com.

What the hell, why not?

2004-09-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

Here, get to know me some!
1.First best friend: Michael Chapman
2. First real memory of something: Waking up in my bed when I was about 5, then realizing I didn't remember anything before that.
3. First Job: Bulletin Paper boy. Oooohhhh yeah.
4. First screen name: Too long ago to remember.
5. First self purchased album: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication
6. First funeral: I've never actually been to a funeral.
7. First pet: Mara the Collie.
8. First piercing/tattoo: Nothing, though I would like to get my ear pierced. But only one! Boo on fashion.
9. First credit card: I'm not 18, but I would rather not have a credit card anyway.
10. First true love: I think true love only comes about once in a lifetime, and I hope I've not experienced it yet.
11. First enemy: good question. I don't think I really had enemies so much as a group of people who I didn't like.
12. First big trip: Disneyland, Anaheim when I was 6, I think.
13. First play/musical/performance/concert: Sleeping Beauty, Arts Alive with Dean Chadwick
14. Last big car ride: Quebec trip with the family.
15. Last good cry: I can't remember.
16. Last library book: heh, some Batman novel about ten years ago, that was never returned.
17. Last movie seen: Rumble In The Bronx, starring Jackie Chan! Booyah for 90's kung fu movies on tape.
18. Last beverage drank: Green Tea
19. Last food consumed: KD
20. Last crush: Nicole.
21. Last phone call: A wrong number.
22. Last TV show watched: The Drew Carey Show
23. Last time showered: a couple hours ago
24. Last shoes worn: Runners
25. Last CD played: Gilbert and Sullivan.
26. Last item bought: It's been awhile since I've had the money to buy something...
27. Last ice cream eaten: A long time ago.
28. Last shirt worn: "Musician - Looking for Groupies:"

LAYER ONE:
Name: Geoffrey Charles Moddle
Birthdate: November 18th, 1986.
Current Location: Nanaimo.
Hair Colour: Dark brown
Height: 5'11".
Righty or Lefty: Lefty - heil links!

LAYER TWO:
Your heritage: British, Welsh, Scottish, Irish, Spanish, French
Your perfect pizza: Feta cheese and pineapples...mmmm.
Goal you'd like to achieve: Become a rock-star.
LAYER THREE:
Your most over used phrase on MSN/AIM: "How are you?"
Your thoughts first waking up: "May Cthulu devour your souls...er, it's time to get up, eh?
Your bedtime: Whene'er I feel like it.
Adidas or Nike: Neither, they're both soulless companies who worship the devil, and...help terrorists?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton, I guess?
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffeeeeeeee, is gross. Cappuciiiiiiino, is gross. That's my little coffee-capp gross song.

LAYER FIVE:
Smoke: Nevah!
Cuss: On occasion, when I'm with the band mostly.
Take a shower everyday: Yep, everyday. Can't get started without one.
Do you think you've been in love: It's possible. But I'd get beat for saying that, so yes.
Want to go to college: I'm not so sure sometimes.
Liked high school: Meh. It was an uninteresting yet integral transition in my existance.
Want to get married: Not really.
Believe in yourself: Only when I'm in a good mood. Sometimes.
Get motion sickness: No, not really.
Like thunderstorms: Yeah, that one a few nights ago rocked.

LAYER SIX:
(In the past 6 months)
Drank alcohol: only a few.
Smoked: nope.
Done a drug: Nope
Had Sex: yeah.
Made Out: well, goes without saying after the previous question.
Gone on a date: *sigh* no.
Gone to the mall: Yeah, but only to drop off resumes! I swear!
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Nope
Eaten sushi: Nope
Been on stage: Yeah, grad baby.
Been dumped: Yeah.
Gone skating: Dry Grad!
Made homemade cookies: Nope.
Dyed your hair: nope
Stolen anything: Nope

LAYER SEVEN:
Played a game that required removal of clothing: hehe, no, of course not! Not in any way shape or form, never, definitely not...yes.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No.
Been called a tease: Not that I know of.
Shop Lifted: Nope
Changed who you were to fit in: Nope.

LAYER EIGHT:
Age you hope to be married: If I do get married, I hope to do it earlier rather than later.
Numbers and Names of Children: I've no preference whatever!
Describe your Dream Wedding: Not a clue.
How do you want to die: Peacefully and in my sleep, unlike the passengers in my car! Or, in the manner of a Buddhist terrorist. Two words: Self Barbeque.
Where you want to go to college: MalU, I guess.
What country would you most like to visit: India or Tibet

LAYER NINE:
(In a significant other)
Best eye color?: Blue, or dark.
Best hair color?: Brown or black.
Short or long hair? long
Best articles of clothing: shirts
LAYER TEN:
# of people I could trust with my life: 4
# of tattoos: None
# of scars on my body: a couple maybe. I don't keep track.
# of things in my past that I regret: My religion is to live, and die, without regret.

Welp, now that you know a little more about me, uh...you can...stalk me better...?

Please, someone help me...

2004-09-22T01:23:00.000-07:00

Stop me before I become something terrible and stereotyped. Before I become depressed by my lack of a social life, and begin loathing my existance, wearing all black clothing, and speaking to the evil elder god Cthulu. I'm so tired of everything not working. I see no conceivable reason why things shouldn't be looking up for me. I keep trying to be optimistic, but nothing works out like it's supposed to. I'm for one reason or another, unemployable, I'm alone, I've nowhere to go to hang out with people except Gondoliers, band practice and whenever I deem it possible to visit the school. The love I want, I'm not getting, and the love I'm getting, I can't return. What is it about me that never allows me to get what I want? I'm getting rather tired of it. It's seriously getting me down, you guys. One of these days, I might just break down and cry. And the most response I'm going to get is people who are tired of their friends being depressed telling me to suck it up. Bah on you all...I'm going to sleep. This is the Angsty Dark Horse, signing off.

2004-09-21T01:28:00.000-07:00

Ave Maria

Gratia plena Maria,

gratia plena

Maria, gratia plena

Ave, ave dominus

Dominus tecum

Benedicta tu in mulieribus

Et benedictus Et benedictus fructus ventri

Ventris tui, Jesus.

Ave Maria
Ave Maria

Mater Dei

Ora pro nobis pecatoribus

Ora pro nobis

Ora, ora pro nobis peccatoribus

Nunc et in hora mortis Et in hora mortis nostrae

Et in hora mortis nostrae

Ave Maria

It's a very beautiful piece. I'm in a classical mood tonight. I'm not really a buff, but I listen to classical music alot. My earliest memories of music were my father's classical tapes he'd play in the car while we waited in parking lots for my brother to finish his soccer game. It is very calming. I'm listening to Air for Strings in G at the moment. It's one of my favorites. The long legato phrases followed by flowing violin lines and soothing baritone from the basses and cellos. I wish I could play the violin, cello or classical bass. Such beautiful, elegant instruments, which should be played and listened to with the utmost respect and admiration for the composer and for the performer. Classical music is truly a relaxing music. The Moonlight Sonata now. A beautifully haunting piece which makes my skin crawl at times. It begins in minors, and then resolves into majors, then flows back into minors. It is like life, a sea of endless rolling minors, a wave of major which then falls back into the ocean of minor. Rising and falling like waves in the moonlight. Beautiful music. This is the Relaxed Dark Horse, signing off.

We're called Gondolieri, but that's a vagary.

2004-09-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

Fashion is crap-dammit. I read an article on MSN.com, and it told me that single pierced ears are assymetrical, and therefore, -SO- 1987. Also, ponytails suck, because other people will look down upon you if you wear your hair in any other fashion than the way they tell you to in G.Q. magazine (whatever the f**k that is) Not to mention goatees, which are like you glued a bunch of hair to your face. Excuse me, but I have a goatee, and I take very good care of it. My brother has the biggest goatee ever, and it'll rock the socks off your pussy fashion any day. Anyway, that's my rant on male fashion and the stupidity of modern culture. By the way, the article was titled 'Don't Follow The Leader'. That -actually- infuriates me. I wish to pierce one ear, put my hair in a ponytail, and not shave my goatee for a month, then find the person who wrote this piece of penis article and give him/her a piece of my mind. So, obviously, my life is boring. Because, well, I'm blogging. Right. I don't know what else to say. That's it really. This is the Angered Dark Horse, signing off.

What were you expecting? Content?

2004-09-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

Well, if you actually read what I'm saying, maybe you'll get it...I don't know. A strange thing happened today. I was boiling water for my Kraft Dinner, when I came upon a interesting revelation. It's quite cold in my house these days, and I held my hand over the pot, the heat from the element warming my hand. Then, I realized, oddly enough, something about life. Many people live their lives as campers around a campfire, on a never-ending night. They sit by the fire, warming their hands and bodies, and expect others to tend the fire, fuel it, and keep it from going out. The fire is life. Or, so they think. However, the fire is, in fact, only security. Some tend to the fire, keep it burning so others don't have to. Others venture away from the fire, and into the night, to find their own destiny. But the ignorant masses are content to stay by the fire, secure in its heat, never questioning what is beyond, in the darkness away from the fire. The thing about it is, you don't know what's out in the dark. It could be even better than the security offered by the fire. Then again, you could get lost. But you never know if you don't venture out into the night. So, will you go, and find out what's hidden in the dark? Or will you stay by the fire? There will always be those who encourage you to stay by the fire, there will be the voice in your head that says 'No, it's cold out there, and it's so warm by the fire...', and then there will be those that take your hand and say 'Come on, let's go!' and lead you out into the darkness. In the end, it's only your choice whether you will take the risk, and move away from the fire. Will you move away from the fire?

Damned mortals! Blasted Humans!

2004-09-12T23:58:00.002-07:00

Some people are just so unsympathetic. In other news, Megan is cool. That's right, she rocks my f**king socks off. And now, back to the headlines. Have you ever told someone something that was bringing you down, and they shrugged it off, or simply told you about their own problem without even asking why you felt the way you do, or if they could do anything about it? I'm sure you have. That just really bugs me. I'm going to do my best to give my sympathy and empathy to others, and ask for nothing in return. So, I'm going to rant about my problems here, instead of to any of you directly. *sigh*. That's how I feel. Tired, spent. Lately, my brain just doesn't want to do anything concerning other people. Especially at times like this, when everything is just not going my way. Road test tomorrow, pray I don't screw it up. I just have to focus, keep my mind off the things that have been bugging me. I'm seriously considering going to the Zendik Farm, even if just to visit. It seems like the most wonderful place to go. In two and a half months, I'm going to be 18 years old. 18 years old...By all accounts, a certifiable adult. It seems a lifetime ago that I ran around with my old friends in the Departure Bay playground, and now look at them. Alex B is a stoner, Alex C is a horndog, Mike and Guillaume have long hair. I remember Alex tattling on Don Cooper for smoking in grade seven. I remember having a sleepover with Mike and Alex way back when. I remember Guillaume coming to Departure Bay in Grade 6 and hardly knowing a word of English. I remember playing in Mike's yard and that wierd board game with the video...trying to create a backyard wrestling ring at Guillaume's house. How I wish I had those carefree days back. Of course, there was the problem of going to school and getting harrassed, unnoticed and uncool. Oh well. That's just how life goes. It changes, and sometimes we aren't ready for the change. Life is a tough transition. It's worth it, though. It's worth not screwing it up, but if you do screw up, there's always a way out. Some people give up too easily, or think that death is the only way out. Life is tough, but death is tougher. You don't get a second chance at death. You die, you're gonna end up alive again. So, why not live your life to the fullest? Now, I'm not saying go out and be boisterous in your drink and in your bed. I'm saying, live a good life, a worthy life that will better yourself and humanity for your being alive. Well, that's my long, convoluted blog of unhappiness, nostalgia and life. This is the Nostalgic Dark Horse, signing off.

Meeting new people = awesome.

2004-09-12T01:43:00.000-07:00

Hey all. I apologize profusely for the inane jabber of that last post. Sometimes I get angry, and depressed, and I need a vent. It's usually you all. I'm feeling better now, and I'll be feeling ever better when Trish decides to talk to me again. *shaking of fist* -Anyway-. Gondoliers is fun fun, we get to sing mock opera written by Gilbert and Sullivan, which is sweet. JRo's in it, Mel's in it, Lorna's in it, Kelly and Morgan are in it, as well as some other awesome folks like Biff, Sandy (The ladies' man), Kelly, Will, Janessa, Sophie and Karrie (yes, I feel like listing all the cool people I've met), I feel like a window shopper. "Oh, that one looks nice. Aww, but that one's got the eyes...Ooh, I like that one!". Oh well...Life goes on. And no, I've not entirely given up on Nicole. Unfortunately, Nicole still doesn't do the whole love thing. So, barring miracles, I'm so out of everything right now. Except friends. Friends are plentiful, and so is band practice. And that's cool. Anyway, I'm off. This is the...Whatever Dark Horse, signing off.

Sometimes, don't you just hate yourself? And...sorry about your penis, too.

2004-09-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's that time again. Time to defecate. On me. As Jack Black would say; "Drop trou, and squeeze out...a Cleveland Steamer...on my chest." That's how I feel right now. Trish hates me now because of one thing I did. Life is stupid. You can do a thousand admirable deeds and get a fool's penance in return, but the one time you mess up, it costs you a friendship. Once again, damn you, humanity. Not to mention my abhorrent love life. Or should I say, non-existant? Yeah, non-existant. The only faint glimmer of hope is Nicole making some kind of life-changing epiphany and coming to think love is worth a try. Come to think of it, I'm not so sure it is myself. The prospect is all well and good on paper, but in practice, there comes the whole feelings bit, not to mention circumstance and attraction. In experiment, it all comes crashing down to...dick. It's really sad, that I don't know anyone else that interests me. Doesn't it suck that all the good ones are taken or unreachable? I mean, is it me? Do I suck that much? Come on people. I have a couple endearing qualities, right?...Right...? *crickets chirping*...Don't all answer at once....Right...Well, this is the Smelly Dark Horse, signing off.

Pity my stub. Welcome to the G-mod blog of unhappiness.

2004-09-03T01:42:00.000-07:00

"If there were real amputees here, they would be beating me with their assorted artificial limbs." I found that I can look like an amputee when I button up my jacket and take my arm out of the sleeve. It's amusing...er...yeah. Capitane Retardo, at your service. I'm reaaaally lonely and it's sad. I'm in one of those moods where I see couples walking, and wish I had someone so badly it hurts. It sucks big time. Yes...pity poor lonely me. Stupid girls. One doesn't date, one doesn't want a relationship...I never really know whether or not these girls actually mean these things, or are just lying to avoid hurting my feelings. It pisses me off. If you don't like me, just freaking tell me, for god's sake. *twitch* It gets me depressed, and then people feel the need to ask me about it, which just makes me mad. Sometimes I want to talk about it, but I've been there before, and told you about it before, I don't want to talk about it again. Mrah. Being single sucks. Sucks to everyone who says being single is fun. "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Fuck off! Having loved before only gives something to compare your current misery to. You think of all the great times with your ex, and know it's never coming back. Then you are steeped in ever greater depression.
Anyway, I want to stop talking about that now. There's so many things I want once I get some money. A better computer, games, swords, and...gas. Well, not that many things, I guess. Most of them are one time investments, not frivolous spending. Blah. I am whore. Consumer whore, that is. I'm just in between everything. No girlfriend, no license, crappy computer, very few diversions, etc etc. Once I get a job, hopefully some of that will change. Also, I'm going to see if I can upgrade my English up at the college. Fun, fun. Oh well. I'm tired, and going to do nothing then go to bed. This is the Twitching Dark Horse, signing off.

Andrea? Antonio? Angelo?

2004-08-31T00:36:00.000-07:00

I like how all my prospective Italian names are A names. I'm in this year's Ubetcha production of Gilbert and Sullivans' The Gondoliers. I'm a Gondolier, and I'm to make myself up a name. Should be fun. I love Gilbert and Sullivan shows. The read-through was on Thursday. Mel's in it, as well as J-Ro, Lorna, Kelly and Morgan, and others who I'm not so well aquainted with. Also, went to a rock show at Pleasant Valley last night. The bands were alright, didn't catch most of the names. We spent alot of the time outside. Bunches of people were there. Drew, Rosey, Tellissa, Cassie, Kelsey, Jenn and Eden, my brother Jon, Katie, Pat, Jay, and Lisa. During the evening, Drew pulls me back behind the building and tells me Lisa likes me. At first, I was skeptical, because I haven't seen the girl in months. But as the evening wears on, her behaviour seems consistent. And, being slave to suggestion, I begin to like her back. Just the thought is enough to spur me into looking more closely at a person, and finding things in them that I like. So, then we go to Hero then drive to Swy-A-Lana. Nothing particularly interesting happened, but again, time spent to gauge her. Then, the party tonight, Jesse, Kelsey and Lisa go galavanting off, and are presumably talking about me, because Laura comes out and asks if I like Lisa or not. This is what I hate, because she thought I was just messing with her by flirting but not liking her. This is not true. I do like her. But, I hate it when people don't communicate, because that's when people make false assumptions and then all descends into chaos. Humans infuriate me.

again...story of my life.

2004-08-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

Well, Nicole didn't work out. She doesn't date. And I doubt anything I can say will change that. Besides, Mel told me to give up. And Mel cannot be disobeyed. So, I'm stuck being sad and lonely until someone equally awesome as her comes along. Alleah is being stupid. Go check out her blog if you want to know why I say that. I went to my Grandpa's 80th on Saturday, Llowyn came over on Friday and stayed the night, and the Symposium was today. It was very awesome. There was one guy, Ian, who had created a machine that can create energy. It was very technical and I didn't understand much of it, but basically, it takes 1 unit of energy, and this machine churns out 5 or 10, etc, and 1 unit is used to keep it running while the rest can be used for any purpose whatsoever. It was awesome. A lesson in alternative energy sources. Also, Tong Ren, ancient chinese medicine reputed to be able to cure cancer by clearing meridians in the body using little more than a doll, a hammer, and the power of intention. Almost like voodoo, except instead of causing harm and destruction, it creates healing. Also, some yoga, some Feng Shui, etc. I have terrible Feng Shui. My aquariam is right in the middle of my 'fire' section of my room, my girlfriend box is right in the middle of my 'relationship' sector, and I have stuff under my bed, which is bad for my chi. I'm moving it. Well, nothing else to report. This is the Sad and Lonely Dark Horse, signing off.

Yay! Naramata!

2004-08-16T00:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from Naramata, and it was great! Got to see all of the gang again - Karen, Lloweyn, Beth, Christa, Megan, Rosey, Chris, Alan, Kyla, Angie, Scott, Patrick etc, etc. And I also met some new people- Whitney, Riley, Hannah, Wavy (spelling?) and Ben. We sang all kinds of awesome music. Go gospel, African rounds and hymns. I told everyone about my new love interest, of course. I asked Spencer and Aden to go to Piper's with Nicole and I. It ought to be fun. And no, I'm not using Aden and Spencer to get to her. I like those siblings. They're highly entertaining, and getting out of the house is getting out of the house, and I might as well get as many people as is convenient out with me. Although, I do admit, it is an opportunity to be out, with her. I'm totally smitten. She has the most wonderful smile, a great sense of humour, a beautiful face, and an amazing personality. *sigh* This is the Lovestruck Dark Horse, signing off.

Story of my life...

2004-08-06T23:57:00.000-07:00

Well, isn't it just my luck that I find a great girl that I really want to get to know better, hit it off great, have great conversations with her, and then...have to go away for a week. So, on Monday, I went to Rose's birthday party. And when I was there, I met some great people from Arts Alive. Some knew me from Music Man. I remembered some of them, but didn't quite recall others. That's besides the point. There was one I knew I hadn't met before, and I knew right away that I wanted to get to know her. Let's call her Jane. She was, how you say, 'bubbly'. She had that bright smile that just resonated happiness. She had a great personality, and was energetic and bright, and I could see the intelligence in her eyes. She was also at the Random Party at Laura's, and the jamming at Nolan's. It was here that I simply couldn't keep my eyes off her. She was beautiful, and the feelings I had were only encouraged by Mel's 'I could see that', and the conversation following our visit at Nolan's. I also talked with her after M gave me her email address. (If she happens to come upon this blog, then I'm so blown.) We talked for quite a long time, and it was very nice. I enjoyed talking with her. I really want to get to know her alot better, and perhaps one day I can find the courage to ask her out. I really have no idea if she feels at all the same as I do, but I would be thrilled to find out.
In other news, as I said, I'm going away for a week. Naramata, in the Okanagan, right on the lake. A singing camp organized by the United Church and Naramata Centre, called Music Week, but commonly referred to simply as Naramata. We're taking Laura along with us, this will be her first Naramata. Ought to be fun! Anyway, that's enough for now. This is the Excited Dark Horse, Signing off.

love wanted, apply within.

2004-08-02T02:20:00.000-07:00

well, I promised a personal. Hey, why not, eh? Well, I've never written a personal, so obviously I haven't a clue where to begin. How about physical? I'm a WAS. White Anglo-Saxon. Not Protestant, however. Just under six foot, maybe 5'11". Medium build, not alot of fat, but not exactly skinny, either. Only very slightly muscular. Not quite shoulder length dark brown hair, blue/grey eyes, sporadic full beard/goatee when I decide to shave (which is not often). Usual dress includes jeans, occassionally shorts during the summer, sandals whenever possible, t-shirts, and corderuey jackets. Always cord. I don't wear any casual overcoat that isn't cord. Including my new cord trenchcoat. At the moment, I sometimes have a slight limp due to the three or four gashes in my left knee and shin.
That's physically me. Now, how about personality? Well, I like to think I'm a nice guy, but sometimes I sure don't feel like it. That's why I'm writing this. Besides that whole fiasco, I'm generally a great guy. I'm about as thick as a rock, like most guys, I'm oblivious. But I'm sensitive and I actually listen when people talk to me. I'm passionate about what matters to me, and I'm very understanding about what matters to others. I'm not greedy or needy. I like having space sometimes, but others I just need to be with someone. I am constantly flirting, whether the person be female, or a theatre person. I'm not gay or bisexual, but I think gays and bis should have their rights, and I'm cheering for the other side, even though I don't play on it, haha! Anyway. I am a Buddhist, and I'm very into the philosophy of it. As such, I'd say I'm more tolerant than most people towards conflicting philosophies or religions.
In a girl, there are a few things I am looking for. Basically, I'm looking for a soul I can bond with. I'm in it for a good, solid relationship, one that's comfortable, and casual. She has to be able to hold a conversation with me. Looks don't hurt, but it's the personality I'm looking for. In terms of looks, however, I'm not looking for someone who's anorexically skinny. I'm a sucker for a pretty face, especially nice eyes. Personality-wise, I'd like someone who shares some of my views. An activist, who knows something about the world and cares about it, and isn't afraid to be different. Someone like me, but not exactly. I'm definitely not looking for high-maintenance or materialistic. Someone spiritual and reflective that I can relate to and talk with.
Obviously, I like to have fun. I like to go for walks in the Linley Valley, particularly Arbutus Bluff, where one can look down on Departure Bay and the surrounding area for kilometers. I also like to just hang out with friends, you know, usual teenager stuff. When I'm bored and alone, however, I like to head down and play some video games, preferably with someone else. Yeah, I'm a gamer, and something of a consumer whore for it and I'm sorry. I just like video games, what can I say? Other than that, I listen to alot of music, and talk to friends. I'm looking for a job, and I'm learning to drive, should have my N by the end of August, hopefully.
So, that's my personal. If you fit me, and I fit you, and live in the area of Nanaimo BC, why don't you drop me a comment? I'm not being desperate, I simply psychicly knew this was what you wanted. Ahem...I guess this is just my way of giving you all a glimpse of me, I'm not really expecting anything out of it, but hey, you never know. This is the Single Dark Horse, signing off.

Strange days are coming...

2004-07-31T00:51:00.000-07:00

I am single. Let's get that out of the way. Alleah's now angry at me for asking the girls to convince her to break up with me. I'll admit that that was low, and cowardly. I did it only to prevent Alleah's wrath from being unleashed upon me. Unfortunately, it backfired when the girls told her about said plan. I was trying to get some kind of neutrality about the whole thing, but it appears I misjudged the girls' inability to keep secrets from each other. But, is it the right thing to tell one a secret involving them when it only causes everyone involved harm? I think not, but...whatever.
In other news, Drew's starting a new band, called Chasing Chester. It seems the current line-up is him on vocals, someone named Spencer on bass (Schachtel?), and no word yet on a drummer, but Nolan has apparantely volunteered or has been asked. Who knows how far this thing will go, but I'm looking forward to the results. And shazbot to all you who think Drew will just flake and be a jerk, because he's a nice guy. You all are living in the past. You know who you are.
So, I'm lonely and tired, and going to the Comox Folkfest tomorrow. Naramata is in a week. I'm stoked for everything. Everything except being lonely and tired. Perhaps I'll put up a personal next time I blog...not that I'm...pathetic or anything...yeah. I can't fool them. Well, you know what? You..y-you're crazy, aren't you? Ha..ha, y-yes, you're certifiably insane! Gastrointestinal cancer with a side of genital warts! This is the Rather Insane Dark Horse, signing off.

The end of an Era...

2004-07-28T00:45:00.000-07:00

My father phoned this morning, and said the family was probably coming home tomorrow. Noooooooo! They were supposed to be gone until Saturday or Sunday! Monkey must be missing his computer and his girlfriend. Boo on Monkey. I just beat Metal Gear Solid, but my game froze, and I couldn't save it! I don't remember where I saved last. Probably a long time ago. Sux0r. Anyway. I still haven't finished my paper on the TBoLaD, but I've got until August 8th, and then the 14th til the 22nd to finish (Naramata, no computers there.) 12 days until Naramata, btw. To bad Brianna can't go...but Laura is, so at least I can show someone the awesemity that is Naramata. I wonder who we'll attach ourselves to this year? Beth and her troupe? Lloweyn, and Karen, the couple who aren't *actually* a couple, but really should be. They're just so perfect for each other, but I guess they don't want to risk a relationship for fear of messing up the friendship, besides the fact that she lives in Okotoks, Alberta, while he lives in Van (that's Vancouver, BC, for anyone reading who doesn't live on the West Coast of Canada, as if anyone reads this but my friends). Or perhaps the random group of whoever from wherever that I hooked up with three or four years ago, and still see around Naramata. I don't know. The only guarantee is fun. I really need to do more job-hunting. I need to check back at the places I've already been. Oh well. I'll find a job sooner or later. I hope. Well, this is the Tired Dark Horse, signing off.

Boredom...and HEAT! ARGH! My braiiiiiiinnnnnsss.....sizzle

2004-07-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

I demand that the author of Konsekai: Swordwaltzer draw faster!! I love that comic, but the site got hacked at the beginning of June, and he's updated the comic once since. It sucks. Anyways, here in Nanaimo, we're having ourselves a heatwave. It's fucking hot. I'm going to strip nude and sit outside under the sprinklers. But then, you'd like that, wouldn't you? So I won't. I'll just take the dog for a walk and get even sweatier. Haha...so tired...heat must be getting to me. It's baking my brain. I need to finish my presentation for the Symposium. It's on the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. I don't really have alot to say. Road trip tomorrow, it'll be more interesting than stuff here.

Um...random blog 'cause it's past midnight.

2004-07-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

I've become totally obsessed with watching Hellsing on Web TV. It's an anime series set in Britain about a vampire called Alucard (or Arucard, depending on whether it's the show...or the credits.), who works for the Hellsing organization for unknown reasons. The Hellsing organization is a black ops force of 'Religious Knights', trained to killed vampires. It is led by Sir Integra(l) Wingates Hellsing, daughter of the founder, I believe. In the first episode, a vampire masquerades as a preist and kills a police unit and almost decimates a D-11 force, one of the members of which is Seras Victoria, or "Police Girl". She is captured by the vampire, and Alucard has to shoot through her to hit the vampire in the heart with his holy high caliber pistol. So, he drinks Seras' blood, making her his servant, but saving her life...in a way. She is now a vampire, and works for the Hellsing organization as Alucard's servant, and of course, using her Mad Vampire strength and skill to put the human members of Hellsing to shame...and so, they battle the forces of evil every episode, and I enjoy it immensely. I know, I'm a nerd, but I looooooooove Hellsing.
That's my little spiel, because I love anime. I apologize to everyone who might think I'm wasting my time watching animes about vampires in Britain, where everyone coincidentally speaks Japanese. It's just so awesome. Alucard has the ability to become some kind of Hellhound to defeat the more powerful of his enemies, and wields large dual handguns, loaded with bullets made from melted crosses, which somehow kills vampires. Maybe they were silver crosses. Silver kills vamps, right? I know this is all very pointless, but I feel the need to rant about awesome things I come across. Also, Walter, the butler, is also known as the 'Angel of Death', and has the ability to spin threads from his fingers which can cut right through flesh and bone! Isn't that the coolest thing ever? Not to mention the gigantic gun that Seras recieves, which uses some kind of artillery shell, not kidding. And of course, she can wield it, even though it must weigh 50 kgs, not including the shell, because of her ultra vampire strength. So cool.
I've probably bored you all enough. I'll slink into the shadows and watch my vampire anime. Peace out, this is the Dark Horse, signing off.

Party at my place! Woo! PS, boo on Brianna.

2004-07-18T19:22:00.000-07:00

My family is going away!! Mom, dad and Monkey (my little bro, Mike, for those unfamiliar) are going camping til Wednesday, then going out on the boat for another week and a half. O, sweet deliverance! It's going to be great. I don't even know what to do with all the free time I'll have!
However, all is not well. If you've read Alleah's blog lately, you know that she and I got into a little tussle about maturity. I was a little upset at some of the things she said about me. I'm not really not going to get into that, because I'd rather it be between me and her, not broadcast over the entire internet.
On Thursday, I got to go with Kevin to Tai Chi, and watch ten old people, and two young ones, do Tai Chi for two hours. Kevin, and his friend, Zed (neither Kevin nor he told his real name, unless Zed is his real name) were the only ones there under 35, I swear. Well, maybe one other woman who didn't look too too old. Anyway. It was interesting to watch, but I don't know whether I want to get into that, or back into Aikido. I really don't know what to talk about. I guess that's it right now. This is the Bored Dark Horse, signing off.

You want my life? Here ya go! !!SPLUNCH!!

2004-07-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

ok, ok. I get the idea. I'll bow to the people's will, and give at least once a week, something about me, ok? This week, we'll reveal that I am, in fact, human. Thanks, that's your personal post. Check back next week to discover my gender! Ok...insufficient. I understand. So, me...what have you been up to lately? Well, I've been...going to driving school! And learning to drive! Took me long enough, eh? I'm 17 years old, graduated, no job, no driver's license. Good job. Soon, yes, soon I'll have my N, and I'll be free. The instructor for driving school was named Ian, and he was one of the funniest guys ever. I wish my high school teachers had been like him. He claims that all pedestrians are at least 50% insane, and totally insane and on copious amounts of crack if they wear hats. Also, every other road user is either driving with a big mac in one hand, a crackpipe in the other, and a cell phone wedged between their shoulder and head, or going 130 km/h doing everything but smoking crack. Why? Because they need more crack. And we watched the videos, oh...the videos..."Why? Why not!", to quote Ian. Oh, good times. Anyway. I also had an interview at RMH, it looked as though they were going to hire me, but...their training schedule goes into Naramata, which I can't miss. UrGfH! Maybe, they'll have another training course after the 14th of August...probably not, knowing my luck. But my family is going away for two weeks!!!! Hahrahra!!! *rubs hands together in a mischevious fashion* Erin Windross is planning a road trip for Tuesday-Thursday. I don't know if that's going down, hopefully, it is. It'll be kick-ass. And apparently, there will be alchohol. I plan on participating. You heard me, I plan to PARTICIPATE! I'm graduated now, it's something I suppose I must experience. Alex said he wanted to see me drunk, so we shall see. So, I shall do that which I have boycotted, but not because I'm a hypocrite, you bastards! Because I'm going out with myyyyyyyyy fr-iends. So there. This is the Drunk-er, Dark Horse, signing off.

This is the bar of a Second Lieutenant...

2004-07-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

A road stretches off into the distance. It is long and winding, and in place of the yellow stripes we are all familiar with, dotting the middle of the road are golden bars. The mark of an Officer in the US military. The caption beside the closest bar reads:
'This is the bar of a Second Lieutenant.
You earn it by taking ROTC in college.
It means Officer, a leader of the United States Army.
If you can acheive it, people will follow you.'
The yellow bar underlines the picture, reading 'AN ARMY OF ONE'
I found this ad in a magazine. You could squeeze the page and it would ooze red, white and blue. Really, how many American boys are pulled in by this? We've gone back to 1914. 'The Grand Adventure, War.' The boys, hardly out of school, go off to fight in the great war for freedom and heroism. They don't think that, in a few day's time, they could be lying in a ditch, cold, dirty, bloodied, begging for their mother as their bowels empty themselves through their ruptured gut. Or that they might come home short a limb or two, or not come home at all.
It's the same today. Young men enter military service not realizing that they are giving their lives into the hands of an armed force, that is in conflict with another armed force, one that isn't clearly distinguished and easily fought. One that set explosives in cars, buildings, and just about anything they can get at. That includes the boys. In fact, their favorite target is a young American boy wearing those nice desert camos and wielding an M-16 and infidel ideologies. It all seems so far away when you hear it on the news, or read it in the paper. 'Four American GI's killed in Baghdad bombing'. We hear it almost every day. I ask you, how many people do you know who are in the military? Alleah has a brother in the Marine Corps. Will he be going to war? I don't know, actually. I'll have to ask her next time I see her. What's the point, people? To protect liberty and freedom? Please. Just think about how liberating and freeing you'd feel pointing a deadly weapon at people who didn't know you, didn't speak your language, or understand why you were shooting at them. So just think twice before you listen to that man with the shaved head and the army greens, my neighbor Americans. Think before you kill.

2004-07-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

Well well well, my first weblog. How fun. So this is the place on the WWW where I get to rant and rave about the goings-on in my life, and everyone else's. Oh, we're going to have some fun with GWB and his Dick and...er, Colin. And I suppose I'll take some time (because that's what this is made for) to talk a little about my life as well...I suppose. Today's post will be mostly for introducing...none other than...the one and only...for one lifetime only...you know him....you love him...yes, it's time...ladies and gentlemen.........boys and girls....it's....the man himself...me.

Let down? Yeah. I'm not too exciting. I'm a hippy, an activist, anti-war, -bush, -corperations, etc etc. By the way...didn't the Iraqi government get handed over to the Iraqis...? So why are we still nosing into their business? They're now a sovereign nation again, why is America still around getting its boys killed? What really is the point of having American, and British boys over there being human bomb fodder, and not really doing anything but distracting the terrorists while the Iraqis try to solve their own problems? And now we have evidence that...oops, Iraq wasn't financing Al Qeida after all. It was the Saudis...hehe...whoopsie! Sorry, hundreds of Iraqi civilians who got caught in the crossfire! Oh well, one more dictator off the seat...but people of the world, who is it that's going to get invaded next? Is it the Saudis? No, of course not! Don't be silly! We're going after that crazy Asian Kim Jong-Il! Why? Because he doesn't have oil, just nukes! Well, George, we're all pulling for you...and by pulling for you, I mean we're trying desperately to pull you away from the big red button that you think is so shiny that you have to touch it. This is The Dark Horse, signing off. (Cheesy, but I like it, so... you know what...screw you.)